Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Klemm, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarchs.
[00:00:09] Today. I thought I would talk to you about the party that we decided to have to celebrate the girls being in the United States for a year.
[00:00:25] I had a lot of Craig's friends, wives asked me about, would you have a shower at your house? We'd rather come to your house than host it at ours. And, you know, I had already had a huge shower from the people I had worked with at the hospital, so I didn't really think another shower was necessary. And I kept telling them, oh, we don't need a shower with these girls have everything now, believe me.
[00:00:54] So they still wanted to do something to celebrate, so they said, why don't you have, like, a little get together for them being in the United States for a year? I said, you know, that's probably a pretty good idea. That's a good idea.
[00:01:14] I had my mom there with me. My mom came for the school year so that she could get the girls on and off the bus because Craig and I were both working. Such a huge help, believe me. She also did their laundry for me, which was another great help, and she would clean the house.
[00:01:33] So I was very, very lucky and am very grateful, even now to this day, that my mom was so invested in helping us raise our daughters. We were very fortunate.
[00:01:47] She thought it was a wonderful idea. My mom is very. Was very, very social. She loved a good party. She loved to dance. She loved to, you know, laugh, especially laugh. She had a great sense of humor, much to my dismay sometimes, as I could be the brunt of her humor. But it was. She was a lot of fun to be around. Very outgoing with people that she knew. Very, very outgoing.
[00:02:16] So she was excited about having the party, and we kind of sat down and tried to plan out what we thought and how many people we wanted to have. Well, she wanted to make it kind of fancy. She. She wanted me to have some nice things.
[00:02:34] So I remember we went into the mall in Portland and we went to Macy's, and she got me, like, some crystal serving dishes, and she got a couple of vases because she wanted to make sure that we had flowers. And she got a nice tablecloth for me. Probably all things I doubt very much I would have ever gotten if it wasn't for her. Okay. I mean, I would have been like, don't. Can't you get a paper table class somewhere?
[00:03:07] Paper good. Sounds good to me, Mom. I don't think we need to go overboard. I did convince her that it was okay for us to have just the plastic plates. And I said, and we can put big garbage cans out there, because if. If they have, you know, 20 kids there, I want them to have the freedom to be able to just run around and, and do what they want.
[00:03:32] So she thought that was a good idea. I did get that much out of her. But we got the house all cleaned up and we were, we were ready to have this party while we sat down with the girls. Now they've been here a year. They've been getting English as a second language, one on one instruction, and also while they're in school. So things are going fairly well with the language. But I'm pretty sure there were some missteps. So they didn't understand everything that we were saying. But they were excited. They did understand that we were going to be having a celebration, a party. They got that and they were very, very excited about it. The oldest one kept saying, how many people can I invite, Mom? How many people can I invite? I said, I don't know. First I said, five. I thought if they each invited five kids, that would be great and that would be manageable because we were going to have all of Craig's colleagues and their wives come along with their kids. So I figured, you know, that's going to put us probably around 50 people. I think that should be plenty, no problem.
[00:04:52] So we figured 50, unfortunately. And of course, you know, the girls came in November. So November is when we were going to have the party. And unfortunately it was kind of a cold, bitter day and it had rained the whole entire day before.
[00:05:13] So we lived on top of a hill, but that back slope off from the hill was pure mud. Okay. And then we had a big field out in the back and there was a tree line at the way back.
[00:05:29] So I wanted the kids to be outdoors. But I also knew that it was going to be kind of precarious because of the rain. The day before, I let the girls go with me to help me pick out what we were going to have. We knew we wanted to have a big sheet cake with an American flag on it to celebrate them being in America. And they were fine. They thought that was great. But we had locally a European bakery. And so in when we had the girls in Romania, there were bakeries all over the place. And we would always go into the bakery and they would get like at little mini apple pies and lots of rolls and cakes, little petit fours, those kind of things. Not too sweet, though. Not compared what the you. I think the U. S probably triples the amount of sugar in their baked goods that they do in Europe. They're. They are. My mom always used to say, it's not sweet enough. It's not sweet enough. So funny when I think about it.
[00:06:45] So we got the sheet cake, and then Georgie wanted a carrot cake and the youngest one wanted a lemon cake. So we got three cakes all together. We also bought some cookies, variety of European cookies.
[00:07:03] And then I also had gotten some chocolates.
[00:07:08] The one thing about Europeans, they love chocolate. And I was trying to do like a little theme so people would understand the kind of sweets that the girls had had when they were living in Europe.
[00:07:25] So I was trying to make it, you know, for them and for everyone else to see a different flare kind of thing.
[00:07:35] My mom said, let's just get the sandwiches catered. So we went to, I think like a local grocery store there, shaws, and we had them make up platters of sandwiches for us on the little mini buns. And, you know, we had like the turkey, the cold cut, some roast beef.
[00:08:01] The girls thought that was okay. They all had to have cheese. The girls absolutely love cheese. So we had cheese on everything.
[00:08:10] We had. We got big dip and platters of vegetables. We had potato chips and dip. We had, you know, everything that we thought that kids would love to eat that would be finger foods and quick, quick in and out kind of thing.
[00:08:32] And then Craig had the grill going too for people that might want a hamburger and a hot dog. So we thought, okay, we, we, we're gonna have this covered. This seems kind of good. Okay, I think we're, we're all set. The day came and my mom was really excited for me to have friends over. And the girls were beside themselves. They had each gotten a new play outfit, so they knew they were going to be outdoors playing with their friends. And so they got a little play outfit so that they could be outdoors.
[00:09:11] So about 11 o'clock is when it was supposed to start. So about 10:30, cars start trickling in and people were coming in saying hi to me and I'm introducing my mom to him. And the first people that showed up were mostly Craig's friends. So I knew the wives quite well and it was easy for me to be able to introduce them to my mom because I knew them.
[00:09:44] So they all came in and we were all talking and everybody's doing fine. And then, then it started, I should say. I don't even know how to explain it, but cars just kept rolling into our driveway.
[00:10:04] I remember looking out the window at one point, and there were, like, 75 cars in our driveway. I'm like, 75 cars. Craig actually had to go out and help them park the car along our field because there were so many people that were coming.
[00:10:26] And a lot of them stayed outside, but a lot of them came in the house, too. And I'll never forget it, because my mom would go, who's that? And I go, I don't know.
[00:10:36] Who's that? I have no idea. They didn't even come up and introduce myself and say, hi, I'm Susie's mom.
[00:10:45] I'm. I'm. My daughter's in the same grade as your oldest daughter. I never heard a thing like that. I had no understanding of who the half of these people were. But the next thing I know, in walks the principal, and he came over to me. I'm Mr. Williamson. Don. I. I don't know if you remember meeting me, but I am the principal. And I said, oh, yes, yes, I do. And he had brought his wife. And then my youngest daughter's teacher came, and I'm like, wow, right?
[00:11:26] I had given the girls each 10 invitations, so I figured 20 children would be great.
[00:11:35] And apparently the principal told me later that day, the girls had gone around and invited everyone in the school to come to this party. And I am not kidding you, I was in a little bit of a panic when he told me that. And it was so true. There were kids everywhere. I've never seen so many kids in my life. You would have thought it was more than a birthday party. I can guarantee you that. Better than a year celebration. I can guarantee you that. It was like going to a fair. Okay. That's what it reminded me of. I needed to have booths out there so they could each go to a booth or a dunk tank or something.
[00:12:23] But it didn't matter to the kids. They were having the best time in that field. And that back hill that was so muddy, they were using it as a slide.
[00:12:35] The two doctors that I had been working with to find out about the Romanian adoption came with their two sons. And by the end of the party, their boys were solid mud. The only thing that you could really see on their face was their eyes. They were completely brown from sliding in the mud.
[00:13:01] And I just remember at one point, I was looking at all these people, and my mom was in a complete state of shock because I didn't even know who half the people were.
[00:13:16] And all of a sudden, the people. The social worker who I had worked with in Massachusetts had come with his Wife. And they came a long way to come to this party. And when they got there, it looked like it was completely out of control. I was like, oh my God. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I knew who they were, but I was kind of embarrassed because it was so unruly. I'm telling you, I had no control over this party. And the, the adults were just as bad as the kids. They just would walk in the house, grab some knee, walk back out. No one ever came up to me and introduced themselves. I was beside myself that day.
[00:14:09] They came at 11:00 and I think the last person left at 6:30 that night.
[00:14:18] And I remember just looking at my mom going, what the heck just happened here?
[00:14:25] What in the heck just happened? I. It was completely, completely out of control.
[00:14:39] I remember looking at the girl saying, did you have a good time? Oh, yes, mama. We had the best time, Mama.
[00:14:49] And I'm like, okay, now that everybody's gone, let's have a little recap here.
[00:14:59] They're like, what does that mean, Mom? I said, let's just sit down and talk about it.
[00:15:06] So when you gave out your invitations to people, do you remember the 10 people that you picked? And the oldest one goes, yes. And I go, who was that? Were they here today? They said yes. I go, well, who were all those other people? Well, I invited them too. Moment, huh? Yes, I did. I felt bad. I felt bad that I was only inviting 10 people. So I just invited everybody in my class.
[00:15:39] And there's two classes, two third grade classes. So we invited the other third grade class too. And then the youngest one said, yeah, I did the same thing, mom, because that's what G told me to do. I'm like, oh my God.
[00:15:57] So basically they invited both of the first grade classes and both or both of the second grade classes and both of the third grade classes. And all the teachers that taught in the building, the principal, the secretary, anybody that they talked to that knew them, they invited to come.
[00:16:22] And we must have had, I'm telling you, we had at least 150 people there that day.
[00:16:32] And I was like, well, when I gave you. Yeah, mom, but you can't just say only 10 people can come and you're giving out invitations in front of everybody. You have to invite everybody, Mom. That's what they said. And really, how could I actually argue with that? The biggest thing that I was worried about is that I had enough food. But I just thought it was so interesting that they invited all these people and I didn't even know them. I didn't know any of them. And none of them came in and really introduced themselves. I don't get that.
[00:17:13] I do not get that.
[00:17:17] Huh? We were winding down at the end of the day, and someone comes running into the house and goes, there's a little girl climbing up a tree in the backyard. And sure enough, I look back there, and there's my oldest daughter climbing up a tree, and she's throwing sticks down out of the tree.
[00:17:36] I'm like, this is a good way to end everything.
[00:17:40] My poor mother. My mom was in a complete state of shock. She's never seen anything like it before in her life. But I do think she was happy because she had been wanting me to have a party for a long time, and then she saw that I really did know how to put on a party. Although I could think. I still think I could have had a little bit more food.
[00:18:07] I just was not prepared for the turnout.
[00:18:12] But, you know, when I look back on that day and that party, I feel pretty happy about it.
[00:18:21] Even though I was completely unprepared in many ways for the large turnout. I think that said a lot about the community there.
[00:18:31] Everybody came because they knew those girls were adopted from Romania, and they wanted to show their support to them. I mean, we were living in a small, little, little town. Little town.
[00:18:50] And so to see all these people show up and offer support and encouragement, not only to the girls, but to really to Craig and I, we felt so cared about, really, that we had adopted the girls and the community was behind it. You definitely felt like you had done the right thing and you were gonna have the support of them whenever you needed them.
[00:19:29] And I think about that day a lot now. I don't know.
[00:19:36] Sometimes I think now, I mean, this is really why I started the podcast, because we really do need each other.
[00:19:46] And this event showed me how much I needed the community to be behind me. It was. It's been 22 years ago, so it was 21 years ago that I had that party.
[00:20:02] And Iowa felt supported, cared about. The girls felt loved. They were so excited at the turnout. They knew that they had friends. They knew that there were adults that were going to be encouraging them going forward.
[00:20:19] How lucky were we, really? It's amazing when I think about it, and I'm glad I got to share this story with you, because I think sometimes we don't appreciate the events in our life where we do have people that are supporting us. We've become so adversarial now. Like, we don't have to all believe the same thing, do we? I'm pretty sure there were people there that don't think the same way that I do, but they were there to support me. I think we should be giving it that hand to other people, giving a hand out.
[00:21:08] Because that's really what life is about, showing people that you have their back or you care about them at a time when they may need it or even if they don't need it.
[00:21:27] Thank you for listening to my story today.
[00:21:30] I hope you enjoyed it. If you have a story that you would like to share about someone who's maybe helped you in your life and you like to give a shout out back to them, please go on my website milkman.com M I L K M O N.com all one word. You can either leave your phone number or your email address in the blank at the bottom of the page and I'm going to be happy to get back to you. Or you can call me directly 616-843-1392 and tell me your story over the phone. I would love to hear from you.
[00:22:12] I think it's important at this time in this world that we share with each other events in our lives that have made a difference to us.
[00:22:26] Until the next time.
