Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Clem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and monarchs.
[00:00:13] Today, I'm going to be talking a little bit more about when I was moving out of the barracks, the dungeon, into my new bungalow with my two other hospital corpsman fronts from the dungeon.
[00:00:31] So we were excited to get out of the dungeon. There was no question about it. Susan, Cindy and I. Susan had a car, and Cindy and I didn't have a car, and we pretty quickly found out that Susan was not the most sharing and giving of people, so she really did not want to help us move at all. And so Cindy and I found ourselves packing our sea bag up and hauling it out to the bus stop, where we were going to have to take two buses to get to the bungalow.
[00:01:09] If you've ever seen a c bag, probably most of you have.
[00:01:14] They're quite large. I mean, we're talking back in the late 1970s. So it was a heavy canvas bag. It had two straps that you could put on your back like a backpack. But I'm like five foot two and so, or a little less. And the backpack is as tall as my chest, so you can see it's quite large for me to be hauling it around. But I had to put all my uniforms in there, all of my personal hygiene items, and all of my personal clothing that I had brought with me to start my new life out there in the navy in San Diego. So I had this whole thing stuffed up to the top, and I'm thinking, how in the heck am I gonna get this on a bus? I'm gonna do it. Because I just couldn't wait to get out of that dungeon.
[00:02:12] So I kind of helped Cindy pack her stuff up. We were working, I think, the same shift that week, so that worked out good. And we got our stuff all packed up, and we hauled it out to the front of the building, up to the road where the bus stop was, and we got on the bus stop.
[00:02:32] We made it down to the end of the road, which is quite a long travel there. It's at least, you know, three or 4 miles, really. It's a long way. And then we had to get off that bus, cross the street, and get on the intersecting bus on El Cajon boulevard to take us down just down to Euclid Avenue where we got off. And we still had to walk at least a half a block to get to her house. So you can imagine the two of us, she wasn't much bigger than me. She might have been five four. And she's hauling that c bag, and both of us were sweating like pigs. I mean, it was ridiculous. It really was ridiculous when I think about it. You know, by now, it's, you know, mid May, June, early June, and we're hauling around this big sea bag. But we did not care. We were getting out of that dungeon, and we were just gonna make the best of it. So we get to the bungalow, and Susan's already there. She's got her car parked out front, and she's unpacking everything. And really, she wasn't exactly the most friendly person. And none of us really knew each other in boot camp. I mean, it's a large company, you know, it was 50 people, at least. And we're where you settle in with the group of girls that you get along with. Well, that was in boot camp. Then you go to hospital corps training, and it's all different people all over again. You're not really stationed with the same people you were in boot camp with. So now here we are in San Diego, and we're stationed again with people that we don't really know. We're not that familiar with. I think I'd seen Cindy before, but I did not know Susan from Adam.
[00:04:24] And Susan really was so unhappy about everything. I mean, it wasn't exactly a great situation, I'm not gonna lie. But we were young. Come on. We can adjust, right? It seems like it to me, anyway. Make the best out of it. Make the lemonade out of lemons kind of thing.
[00:04:45] So she'd been there. She already claimed her room, of course, and the two of us are just trying to, you know, go with the flow, be happy we're not paying rent. How much worse could it get, you know what I mean? I was like, this is more than I could have ever expected. That's how I felt about it.
[00:05:06] And the person that we were renting the little bungalow from was, like, a 28 year old man. Young man.
[00:05:16] He had long hair. His name was David. Of course. I would remember that, right? He rode a motorcycle. He was a typical California. I mean, what I had in my mind, a California beach bum type of guy. And so he came over to make sure we were all getting settled in, and he took a liking to me right away. So he's like, hey, you want to go out for a ride on my motorcycle? I'm like, yeah, that sounds great. Yeah. Anything that seemed normal and not what we had just been living through was going to be exciting to me. So he took me all over San Diego. He showed me all the beaches there. He took me back to his apartment where he lived. He had an iguana. I remember that's the first time I ever really saw an iguana up front, up close and personal. Right.
[00:06:13] And he was just kind of a cool hippie dude type of guy. But he was very good to me at a time when things were really not so great. Okay. So I came back, and, of course, the two of them are already aggravated that I've made a friend there outside of the military. Well, what are you gonna do? That's the way it goes. I'm kind of the one that stuck my neck out for us, so I thought they should be a little bit more appreciative. Typical girl challenges, right? Unfortunately. I hate to say that out loud, but that's how it was back then.
[00:06:48] So we started living there, and we're living kind of comfortably, really. We don't see each other that much because, like I said, we work on different units and we work different shifts.
[00:07:01] But anybody who knows me or has known me for any length of time knows that I absolutely need to have a lot of light. If you saw where I would live, where I'm living right now, you would understand that because I have windows everywhere, and I really do not like being in a dark room. I need a lot of light. So what started to happen is, I think those two, Cindy and Susan, were depressed. Why wouldn't you be? I mean, we're young. We're away from home. We're not living in the barracks with all the other girls. It's just the three of us. We got forced together. We didn't even know if we really liked each other. We didn't have a lot in common other than we. We were all in the navy. That was it. Okay? Susan was from Texas, and I think Cindy was from New York, and I'm from Michigan. So there was not a lot of commonality between the three of us.
[00:08:03] And I would come home from work, and if I was working the day shift, all of the shades in the house were pulled down.
[00:08:13] The rooms were. Were so dark in there. I'm like, what the heck? You know? Get these. Get. Get some lights on. Let's get these shades up. The kitchen was a mess. Nobody ever wanted to do the dishes. Nobody ever wanted to clean. I'm kind of a neat freak, so that drove me nuts. And I'm thinking to myself, okay, I can't complain again. My gosh, I've already been complaining so much. Lieutenant Commander Hicks is gonna really think, what the heck? Did I go out on the limb for her, for she's still complaining. So I'm just trying to deal with it. That's the best I could do. And at least I had David, the landlord, who would take me out on occasion and show me around town. And so that was kind of an out, a good outlet for me. And I was. I was trying to make the best of the situation.
[00:09:08] So we've been in the apartment now. So, you know, we were in the barracks for three weeks, in the dungeon, and then we were in the apartment or the little bungalow for probably a month, I'd say a month. And I'm thinking, okay, we're gonna get into a routine. I'm gonna work on them. We're gonna have a better living situation. This is all gonna work its way out. It just takes time, right? Wrong.
[00:09:37] And get home from work, and there's Cindy in the living room again. All the shades are pulled, and she's bawling her eyes out. She's crying. I'm like, what is wrong?
[00:09:52] What could possibly be that bad? We've lived through so much already.
[00:09:59] What? What. What is going on? And she goes, Susan left. I go, what do you mean, Susan left? Susan left? She's. She's going AWol. I go, what do you mean, she's going AWol? Yeah, she packed up her stuff, put it in their car, and she left.
[00:10:18] She left. Did she tell anybody she was leaving? No. She doesn't care. She just left. It's just gonna be you and me now, and I'm gonna be by myself all the time. I can't handle this. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, oh. I didn't even know. What. Now what am I gonna do? That's all. I kept thinking to myself, I I don't work the same hours as her. I didn't. And I I don't respond to things the way that she does.
[00:10:56] And I've already been through so many challenges, I feel like already.
[00:11:01] And now I'm gonna have to take this one on too, or I go, gotta go tell Lieutenant Commander Hicks. Oh, by the way, thank you for letting us move out, but one of us won aWol.
[00:11:12] I was like, no, no.
[00:11:15] Okay, I gotta sit down and think about this. What am I gonna do here?
[00:11:22] So what? Oh, there was really nothing else I could do. Gotta face it head on. So I said, I'll. I'll talk to him tomorrow when I go to work. I'm not gonna worry about it tonight. But in the meantime, what do you think about opening up the shades a little bit, maybe we could just go out to dinner or something. But she was just beside herself. It was. It was sad for her. Not really for me, but for her. It really was. And I felt bad about it, you know?
[00:11:54] So I go in, and I'm working on cleaning up the kitchen. I'm feeling so frustrated about everything. I'm like, I didn't ask for any of this. I would have been happy in the barracks, feeling sorry for myself, you know? I gotta have to call my mom. I gotta go talk to my mom. Well, we didn't have a phone in our apartment, and there was a telephone booth about two blocks down the street. And I didn't mind it. Cause it was close to Jack in the box.
[00:12:25] Hey, if you've never had a jack in the box hamburger. I know they always talk about in n Out, but I love Jack in the box. I'm always gonna remember it fondly after living in San Diego. So I discovered the telephone booth because I found the jack in the box. And so I said, I'll go. I'm gonna go call my mom. Maybe my mom is going to be able to help me out here. So I walk over to the telephone booth, and I have to call her collect, which she didn't mind, didn't call her very much. We set it up so that I would call her on Saturday mornings.
[00:13:03] So the fact that I was calling her on a Thursday evening, she knew something wasn't up. Something was up. I should say something. Something was up. So she answers the phone. I go, mom, oh, you're never gonna believe what's happening here. This is terrible. This is absolutely terrible. And she's like, well, what's going on? And I go, Susan went aWol. She goes, what? Yeah, she went aWol. She packed all her stuff up today while I was work, at work. She put it in her car, and she left. She's going back to Texas.
[00:13:43] My mom's ghost. What? What are you gonna do now? I go, I don't. Well, I don't think I have to worry about it. I said, I'm. I'm trying to get along with Cindy because she's unhappy. But I think, you know, we already have our rent paid for the first six months there, so I don't think I'm gonna have to worry about whether we have an extra roommate or not. But I'm gonna think about it and see how it goes. And when I go into work tomorrow, I'm gonna go see Lieutenant commander Hicks again. I'm sure she's gonna be so happy to see me, right? So my mom and I were kind of laughing about it, and just calling my mom made me feel better. Believe me, I was gonna be able to get through this next trauma and drama.
[00:14:35] So I go, I hang up from talking to my mom, and I go to jack in the box. Of course, I get my hamburger, and I decide, oh, I'll get Cindy a hamburger too. Maybe that's going to cheer her up. I'll give her a little food. Food always makes everything better. So it gets the hamburgers, and I come back and still all the shades and everything are closed. And I go, I got you a hamburger for dinner. Let's just sit down and eat, think about how we're gonna handle this whole thing. And she was crying, you know? Oh, really? It was not what you thought it was gonna be, but it wasn't the worst thing either. I think some of the girls in the barracks probably would have given their right arm to be living in a cute little bungalow like us. You know, sometimes we focus on the negative. I'm so, so quick to say that, right? But I was just trying to cheer her up. I really was.
[00:15:29] So we get done eating, we. And we just hang out for a little bit. I hadn't gotten a tv or anything yet. That's probably the other thing. I mean, we're there, but we don't know anybody. We don't have a car. We're like, oh, how did this even happen? But the next day, I get up, I get ready, I get on the bus, take the bus back into the hospital, go up to the fifth floor where I'm working, go out to the office and knock on the door, and here comes Lieutenant Commander Hicks. She opens the door. I'm sure she thought, what could it possibly be? I've got them a house. I got them situated on their work unit. What else could possibly be going on?
[00:16:23] I go, good morning, Lieutenant Commander Hicks. It's so nice to see you today. She's like, yeah, right. Okay, dawn, what is going on? So I'm like, well, I went home last night, and Cindy was there, and she was bawling. And the truth of the matter is that Susan went AWOL. She's like, what? What are you talking about? Yes, she packed up all her stuff and she left, and she went back to Texas. And I just wanted to let you know because we don't want to get in trouble for her leaving without telling you.
[00:17:00] She's like, oh, my word.
[00:17:03] I know. She must have just looked at me and thought, remember the first time she met me, she said, this one's going to be a piece of work. And, you know, I think I had proven that many times over already.
[00:17:19] But she says, okay, I'm glad you came to tell me, and you don't have to worry about it. We'll take it from here, kind of thing. But by the way, how do you like living there? I said, I really like it. It's a cute little bungalow. I got to know the landlord a little bit. I'm trying to get to know the neighborhood a little bit. I mean, it's been a little bit of a challenge for both of us because we don't have a car, but we are on the bus. Line. Line. And, you know, we're trying to make it work. And I made it here on time today, so I think it's going to be okay. So she's like, okay, this is good. We'll take the rest from here. Thank you for coming to tell me.
[00:18:03] So I go back to work, and all day long, that's all I'm thinking about, right? I mean, I'm taking care of my patients and everything like that.
[00:18:13] Having a good day, learning so much. I learned so much every single day that I went to work. I can't believe the amount that I learned in the military. Even after having my master's degree in nursing and being in different situations, I could remember things I learned from the navy. Okay? So the best education anyone could have ever gotten. It was just unbelievable. Just unbelievable. The amount of knowledge and information that was shared with me and technical skills and, you know, common sense, it was just amazing. And I'm just so glad that I went into the military. And I used to say that I thought everybody that graduated from high school should spend two years in the military just to get some practical education on living life before going into college. Because I know when I went to college, the one and only year that I was there, I didn't know a thing. And I didn't really learn a thing. I mean, I really didn't. But I learned so much in the military. Unbelievable.
[00:19:35] So I'm riding the bus home, and I'm thinking to myself, what the heck am I gonna do here? Well, I had some friends back in Hillsdale, and I thinking to myself, I'm gonna call some of my friends and see if anybody out there wants to move to California. I mean, this isn't a bad deal because really, they could come rent free for the first three months.
[00:20:02] Whenever they came, they could at least have three months free because the Navy was going to pay for six months. So I'm like, I'm going to see if I can find somebody that might want to come out, and then it wouldn't be so bad. And I. I think my friends were like, well, you're in the military. Yeah, I'm in the military, but it's just like going to work every day. There is no difference. I think that the difference is, was in the schedule. So, like, two weeks of days, two weeks of evenings, two weeks of nights. You wouldn't see that in a civilian job. And then you would be on call on the weekends or during the week. You'd be on call overnight, those kind of things. But for the most part, it was just like going to work in a hospital every day as a civilian. So I thought one of my friends could just come out and live in the bungalow with us and that it would be a good deal for everybody, and I'd be happier having one of my friends with me. So I started thinking about that as my next step.
[00:21:09] I get home, and I decide I'm gonna call my mom again and see what she thinks about the idea. She thought it was a good idea, too.
[00:21:19] One of my really, really good friends, her name was Cindy as well. She. Her family owned a business, and they traveled all over the place, including the west coast and China and everything for importing. So I thought she would be the perfect one to come out here. Let's see if she might be interested in moving to California.
[00:21:47] So I called her up, and she had to think about it. My mom thought it was a great idea. She was all for it. She's like, I think that's a great idea. Let's see how it goes. She was all for it. And I called my friend, and she said, I'm gonna talk to my parents about it, and I'll think about it, and then I'll let you know. So I thought that was a good idea. And then I told myself, other roommate, Cindy, about what my idea was. I don't think she was exactly overjoyed about the idea. And really, when I look back now, I think she was still depressed. I don't blame her. I was. It was not an easy situation at all in any way, okay? It just wasn't. But it wasn't gonna work either. And we needed somebody else in there to kind of be a buffer for us. So my friend called me back, and she said she decided that, yes, she definitely is going to move out there with me. Well, she didn't call me back. Cause, you know, I'm going to the telephone booth. But we set up a time when I could call her and she could give me the answer. So when I called her back, she said, yes, she's going to come. She was going to bring her car. She had a pinto at that time, and her mom was going to come with her so she could check out the whole situation and help her get settled in.
[00:23:18] So I was ecstatic about the whole thing. The apartment that we were living in, or the bungalow was completely furnished, but she brought a lot of accessories to set up the little bungalow, and she made it look so cute. I mean, it was absolutely adorable. It was so cute.
[00:23:43] But the other roommate did not like it, and she really started to kind of give both of us a hard time. She was already keeping the shades drawn. It was always so dark in there and that she never did the dishes or anything. I was always cleaning up after her. And so finally that was it. My other friend moved in, and she was going to move out, according to me. So I sat her down. I said, you're not happy here. You're miserable. I checked into the barracks, and they have a room now, and you're going back to the barracks. She goes, I don't want to go back. I said, I don't care.
[00:24:28] You're going back. That's how it is. So I made her pack up all her stuff. She didn't have that much. It's the same sea bag.
[00:24:38] And I put her on the bus and I sent her back to the barracks. Isn't that so mean? When I look back and I'm like, what is the matter with you? I don't know why. I mean, because I had already been living there with her for six weeks, and it was six weeks of agony. It's really hard to be working hard, taken to buses and come home, and you got somebody who's crying that's depressed all the time. And that's what I said to her. I go, you're going to be happier in the barracks. That's where you belong. You need to be around people. You need to be in a more structured environment. You don't like to be alone. You're not going to be happy here. You're going back. And even though she fought with me, I still put her on the bus and she went back to the barracks. And you know what? I did see her later on, not right away, but she really did end up being so much happier. And she met somebody that was a mentor to her, a female chief, and she helped her with so many things. I mean, she hated me, obviously. Why wouldn't she hate me? Every time I looked at her, she'd give me a dirty look, even though I tried to be nice. I mean, you couldn't blame her. She is just so angry at me for sending her back. But I hope now if she looks back on the story, she's thinking to herself, yeah, that really was the right decision for me.
[00:26:06] So my friend from home and I settled in. And then right behind us in a two story building. The bottom was the garage. Then there was two apartments upstairs. We met one of the young women that was living in one of the apartments, and she became great friends with us. Her name was Mary. So my friend from Hillsdale was Cindy. So I had Cindy. I still had a Cindy, and I had a Mary now. And the three of us had the greatest time. And we were so lucky that we got to live there during this time in our life. We were all. I wasn't even 20 yet. I think I just barely. I turned 20 in October. So it was. It was a fun time to be out there. It really was.
[00:27:02] And in the next episode, I'll talk to you a little bit more about the things that went on while we were living in that apartment. And that'll be an episode that you definitely will not want to miss because there were a lot of fun times and people and going places and just the beginning of us really growing up kind of things. Because you're learning how to live independently while me still being in the military, because the military is like your parents in the background. Trust me, it's not like college. Nobody's watching you anywhere. But in the military, you're always being watched. And believe me, I still had Lieutenant Commander Hicks always looking over my shoulder to make sure that I was, you know, on task. Let's put it that way.
[00:28:04] So thank you for listening today. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I'm looking forward to telling you the next episode.
[00:28:13] It's a lot of fun.
[00:28:18] If you know somebody that has a story that you would like me to share, please put them in contact with me. Milkmon.com. milkmon.com.
[00:28:31] And I will get a hold of them and figure out how they want to do their story. Also, another thing, I have found a studio now where I should be able to start interviewing people that want to do one on ones. It might be hard for people who live outside of the state of Michigan, so I still have to work on that part.
[00:28:55] But if all of my friends that live around here, I can start interviewing people in the studio. And so you'll start hearing from other people who have an ordinary to extraordinary story to share with all of you.
[00:29:11] And that's the goal of this podcast until the next time.
