EP36 - Theona

[00:00:01] Hi everyone, this is Dawn Klemm and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarchs. [00:00:09] Today I am going to talk about another person that has influenced me greatly in my life. [00:00:18] And she was our neighbor when Craig and I were living in North Yarmouth, Maine. [00:00:25] So we lived about 17 miles away from Portland and both of us worked in Portland and we lived on three, a little three acre farm. We didn't have any farm animals, we just had a dog. [00:00:41] But we had a big, huge back field. And we always dreamed about doing something with that farm, but we just never got around to it. Life happened, but in the meantime, on either side of us, we had neighbors. And we did have a neighbor across the street. [00:01:02] We were far apart though, so I didn't know if we were going to be friends, friendly with the neighbors or not. [00:01:09] But our neighbor to the left of us, if you were looking at the road, was a woman at the time we moved there. She was in her 60s and her name is Fiona. [00:01:24] So if you think of Shrek and Fiona, her name is Theona with the T H E O N A and she lives in a. [00:01:37] It's really like a three room house and with the bathroom. And she raised seven children in that house. I do not know how she did it. I really do not. [00:01:50] But she is a really what you would call a true Mainer. She was born and raised in Maine northern, north of where we were living. And she has the true Maine accent. [00:02:08] And she had huge gardens like she grew blueberry bushes. She had some of the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen in my entire life. Wife. And her house was situated on the beginning of an old railroad bed. I first got to know her because I would take our dog for a walk on that railroad bed. I would just walk down that railroad bed, all the way down to the next road over and then back. [00:02:44] So I had to actually go a little bit through our yard into her yard to access that railroad bed. [00:02:56] Craig had been living there, but not that much before me, maybe a year longer. I don't think he ever really talked to her that much. But when I started walking the dog, she started to come out and get to know who I was. [00:03:13] And that was no issue for me. I can talk to anyone, right? So I was talking to her quite a bit, finding out about who she was she was working at in the school system as a teaching assistant, so. Or a teacher's aide, I guess. [00:03:33] She absolutely loved kids. She absolutely loved kids. I mean, she had seven of her own and then she had a lot of Grandchildren. And she just loved being around children. [00:03:47] She was a great neighbor, but we lived completely different lives. You know, we were so different, but that was okay. I think we both brought something to the table and we ended up having a really good relationship with her. One of her sons at the time was actually living in the back in a trailer on that railroad bed. And so we became friendly with him too. [00:04:22] So she watched Craig and I, you know, grow strong in our relationship, get married. She saw us working on our house all the time. She would come over and talk to us, or we'd go over there and talk to her. And the time came when we decided that we were going to adopt. So when we were going to adopt, we actually were going to Romania to pick up our daughters. We went over and we asked her if she would be able to watch our dog while we were gone. So that was really the first time that things started to solidify. She was thrilled, absolutely thrilled that we were going to be adopting. And she was excited that we came to ask her to watch the dog. The dog loved her. So that didn't make. That wasn't a hardship for either one of them. [00:05:26] She always told the story afterwards the though, because we went to get the girls in November and it was right in the heart of hunting season. [00:05:41] The dog that we had at that time was a golden retriever. [00:05:46] And so she was walking the golden retriever way out in the back field and she had a tan coat on. And she says, I'll never forget. All of a sudden I thought, what in the heck am I doing? Here I am walking this dog in the middle of hunting season, and she's like, that was when I realized that I needed to high tail it back towards your house. [00:06:14] So she brought the bit dog back closer to the house. But anytime we see her now, and we just saw her this year, she's 95 now, that was the very first story that she told us. Again, always comes back around to that time when the girls came home. She was one of the first people that actually came over to meet them. In the beginning, they thought that she was their grandma and they called her Mamaya, which is what they call grandma in Romania. [00:06:50] It wasn't until they actually understood the language that they started to understand that she was not their grandma. But the girls were very fond of her in a lot of ways too. Although one time Georgie, the oldest one, who absolutely loves flowers, could not resist Fiona's garden. And she went over and proceeded to cut flowers down and bring them home and put them in A vase, unbeknownst to me, until Fiona came over to tell us that my daughter was over there cutting flowers down. And you know, we're trying to talk to Georgie. Georgie, you're not allowed to do that. [00:07:36] Please be respectful of Fiona's garden. And she says flowers are for everyone, Mama. Flowers are, are from God, so we should be able to have everybody's flowers. I go, no, that's not how it works, Georgie. [00:07:53] And Fiona got quite a kick out of that too. She was an incredible baker. Incredible. And the one thing that she made that Craig absolutely loved was cinnamon. Homemade cinnamon rolls. So she would actually need the dough and let the. The dough rise and then pound it back down and. And she ended up giving us her recipe because Craig wanted to learn how to make them. When he was growing up, his grandma always made homemade cinnamon rolls and it was one of his most favorite things in the world. So when she was making them and bringing them over for the holidays, he begged her for the recipe, which we have this until this day still in my recipe holder. [00:08:46] And he has made several attempts since then to make those cinnamon rolls. But of course they'll never be as good as the way Theona made them. [00:08:58] So she would check in with me periodically. She knew I was a nurse working at. I was working at Maine Medical center by the time we really got to know her. And she would come over from time to time to talk to me about health issues and what did I think about this and what did I think about that. And I would help her if her family were having sorts of health issues and. And it was no burden to me at all. I just adored her. [00:09:32] My mom would come and stay with us. [00:09:36] My dad had died and my mom would come and stay with us. And while Craig and I were at work, the two of them became quite friendly and my mom actually would go out with Fiona in her car. Fiona would take her around and show her different places and talk to her about things. I think Fiona was five years older than my mom, so I think it was kind of a good relationship too because my mom actually taught her how to go through the drive through in the bank and how to write a check and cash it to get cash. Up until then, she had never been through the drive thru in a bank. I mean that she is just so simple. She didn't need a lot of extra anything. So that was just. She still talks about that about my mom and how she taught her how to go to the drive thru bank. This was probably like in 2005, you know, so it's kind of interesting. [00:10:48] And one time, my mom and I were in Walmart at Christmas time. The girl. It was the second or third Christmas that the girls had been here. So we were getting excited and we were buying a Barbie castle and we ran into Fiona and Walmart and all of us were just giggling and cracking up. And Fiona was so excited that we were getting the Barbie castle. I mean, those are all just the simple little things that I remember about being next door to Fiona. [00:11:26] But one of the things that I remember quite clearly, one day she came over and she was kind of in a. In a. I could tell she was flustered and I was like, what's going on? Is everything okay? She says, well, I really wasn't feeling very good today. I didn't feel bad, but I had a doctor's appointment and I went to the doctor's office and they did a blood sugar on me. And my blood sugar was 735. Okay, for those of you that don't know a normal blood sugar, it really should be. I think it's 100 to 108 now. They've lowered it so much than normal. [00:12:13] So hers was seven and a half times higher than what it really should have been. And. And I'm like, well, are you having any symptoms? Wow, I can't believe your blood sugar was that high. [00:12:28] She says, no, I mean, her blood sugar probably had been high for a long time. And so her body had adapted to her having a high blood sugar. And that's really all there was to it. Well, it was at the same time when my friend Wanda. And if you had been listening to me talk previously, then you know I've already told. Shared the story of Wanda. Well, Wanda had left working at the Barron center and was working for the convent now. She had her own dog grooming business, but she also worked part time for the convent in Portland. And so I called her to tell her about Fiona and she says, bring her over right now. Don't. So I drove over to the convent and she had us meet her in the convent. And she gave Fiona her own glucometer. And while we were there, she taught her how to test her own blood sugars. And Fiona was thrilled. I mean, I was thrilled. I was so happy that she went out of her way to help my neighbor. And she liked Wanda and Wanda really liked her. Both of them were like salt of the earth type of people. So it was perfect. [00:13:52] So we got her all situated at. [00:13:56] If she ever had any problem or anything, she would Call me or I would check up on her regularly to make sure that it was her blood sugar was getting down there, and she was still meeting with her physician. [00:14:10] And she was really, really, really happy about the whole thing. [00:14:16] So that worked out good. [00:14:20] She had a lot of loss in her life, though, and she had problems with her children, and so there were times when things were a struggle for her, just like all the rest of us that have children, right. [00:14:38] She has her youngest son. Willie was by far her favorite, and everybody knew it. She didn't really try to. To hide it. He was the youngest out of all of them. And the Donnie, the one that lived behind her, though, he helped her so much. He did a lot for her, and she did love him, but Willie was the one. [00:15:04] So when it came down to her making out kind of like a little will or something, she let Donnie know that she was going to be given the property to Willie. And here's Donnie living on the land, right? He's already living there. So he was so angry. And she knew kind of that. [00:15:29] I mean, I think she thought she could work it out with him. But no, Donnie at that moment never was going to forgive her again. [00:15:41] So he packed up and he ended up moving. He had a girlfriend. They ended up getting married. And he really just didn't have that much of a relationship with his mom after that. [00:15:59] It turned out to be so sad because in the end, Donnie ended up having lung cancer. [00:16:10] Craig and I decided to move to Cape Elizabeth, which was, you know, probably 35 miles away from where we had been at least 30. And Fiona did come and visit us on Cape Elizabeth, but we hadn't lived there very long, and Craig had lost his job. So we decided maybe we should move back to Michigan, which is where I was from. And Fiona was devastated about us leaving. It was already hard enough for her when we moved to Cape Elizabeth, but the girls got into a better school system, so for us, it was definitely worth it. [00:16:59] And then when we told her we were moving back to Michigan, she was devastated again. [00:17:06] So we hadn't heard from her in quite a while. And then all of a sudden, I get a Christmas letter from her. I think it was about a year after we had moved. And the Christmas letter really was not a Christmas letter. It was a letter telling us that Donnie had died. [00:17:27] We were so sad. [00:17:31] Sad. [00:17:33] And of course, at that time, you started thinking, well, maybe she had an inkling, because why would she just give the property to Willie and not even think about Donnie? After Donnie had been living there all that time. You know, sometimes people know things in their own mind, you know. [00:17:55] So I called her. Craig and I were both crying because we were up so upset, and she was crying, and we spent so much time talking to her. We talked to her a lot. And we realized that we had to keep the connection going. We just had to. [00:18:17] So we have called her. We've tried to call her every single year on her birthday, and we do get pretty close to her birthday. She was turning 90, and we had made arrangements that we were going to go back and be there for her birthday. And she was so excited that we were coming. [00:18:42] But then what happened is my mom got sick, and then my mom ended up dying, so we never could go back there to see her. And it was so another sad thing, right? [00:18:56] But we did reconnect. I told her what had happened, and I apologized, and we've been calling her ever since. We've moved a couple times, too. So, you know, she's had a hard time, you know, keeping up with us. But this year, we went back to Maine, and we went in May, and Craig and I drove out to her house, and we knocked on the door, and she had a nursing assistant there with her. And the nursing assistant took us into the living room. There she was, sitting there, just like she always was. And I go, fiona, we're so happy to see you. She knew exactly who I was. [00:19:45] She said, oh, my Lord. Like she always does. And she was so happy. And Craig and I spent probably an hour and a half with her last year for Christmas. I had sent her some homemade potholders and some homemade pumpkin butter and some applesauce. And she called me on the phone, and she. I said, oh, I'm just going to send you just a. A little something for Christmas, you know, she called me on the phone. She goes, your little something turned out to be a pretty big something. I was like, I mean, she just appreciates the little things so much. You know, sometimes we just take so much for granted, and we don't even realize that our generosity to someone, no matter how big or small, can make such a difference to someone. [00:20:41] And when we went to see her, that was one of the very first things that she started talking about. [00:20:48] She had been in the hospital. [00:20:51] She had urosepsis, so she probably had a urinary tract infection. It didn't even know it. [00:20:58] And that was why she had a nurse with her, a nursing assistant with her, just making sure she was doing okay. And Willie, her youngest son, had come and built a big, huge ramp from her House out to the driveway. She doesn't drive anymore, but she still walks around her property. And he had made sure that the, the ramp had lights on it so if she wanted to go in the evening, it would light right up and she could see the path all the way down. What a great son. What a great son. Very loyal to her. And he comes home every year two or three times or two times, I think she said one to two times a year to see her. And he is the light of her life and you can see why. He's done a lot of work for her. He redid her whole kitchen when Craig and I were living there. He fixed up her back bedroom for her. Is so cute. It's got her bathroom all fixed up. And I feel like here she is at 95 years old living comfortably in her house that she has been in for probably 60 years. [00:22:20] She raised all seven of her kids in that house. I still don't know how she did. I always ask Craig, how did she. Where's the bedrooms at? You know, well, there's rafters above the bedroom where she sleeps. And so I think the rafters. The kids would just climb up into the rafters and they would sleep up there. None of them really had a bedroom. They were all just sleep upstairs. [00:22:45] Some might sleep in the living room. I have no idea. I don't really don't know how she did it. [00:22:51] She was madly in love with her husband and he ended up cheating on her. So they got a divorce and then he went with the other woman and then that didn't work out. So he came back to her and she thought for sure they were going to get back together again. But it never really did work out. [00:23:20] So she lived there by herself. And she always told me he was the love of her life and it didn't matter that he had had an affair and that things didn't work out. He was the one that she loved, that she had all her children with and she was always going to love him till the day she died. [00:23:40] That's really how she was. She's incredibly loyal to people. [00:23:47] She doesn't mince words. If she doesn't think you're doing something right, she'll let you know. Like she knocked right on our door and said, georgie, cut the flowers down, right? [00:23:58] But you couldn't ask for a more honest, loyal friend. And I feel like she brought to us, to Craig and I, just a fresh perspective on everything, you know, Here we were, two professionals. Craig's an engineer, I'm a registered nurse. We're making good money. She's living in her little tiny house, doesn't have much and. But neither one of us felt bad. We, we were honored that she wanted to be friends with us, and she was so happy that we remained friends with her. She always says, I think our house. There's been at least two or three other people that have lived in there since we moved. And she says it'll. It was never the same after you left. [00:24:54] So that's the kind of neighbor that you really want. [00:24:59] And I wish I could introduce her to every one of you because she's an incredible human being and she taught us a lot about simple isn't so bad. [00:25:16] Basics aren't so bad. [00:25:19] They're pretty good. [00:25:22] Thank you for listening to my story today. I hope every one of you has a neighbor like Fiona. She's definitely one of a kind. [00:25:34] She's amazing in so many ways and she has a lot of good friends. And if you knew her, you would know why. [00:25:46] If you're interested in having me tell a story about someone who has impacted you in your life, or you want to tell a story about yourself and something that impacted you, a situation or maybe a career, something that you feel would be worthwhile to share with everyone, please go on my website. I would love to hear from you. My website is milkman.com m I l k m o n.com all one word. And there's a section at the bottom of the page where you can just say please contact me. You could leave me your email address or your phone number and happy to call you up and discuss what you would like to talk about and. Or if you want to, I can even tape you with my phone and we can do an audio tape on the podcast. That would be great. [00:27:00] Until the next time.