Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi, everyone, this is Dawn Klem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarchs.
[00:00:08] I have a lot of time to think now that I've been retired.
[00:00:12] And one of the things that I've been thinking about a lot is how when.
[00:00:19] I don't know if all of you feel this way, but I feel like when I was young, I was very timid about accepting some of the things that I would probably consider flaws or my own idiosyncrasies.
[00:00:38] I would actually shy away from it and try to be somebody different. Than what? Than who I really was.
[00:00:46] I don't know. You're just trying to fit in so hard when you're growing up and you don't want anybody to know that you have a few kinks in the armor, so to speak.
[00:00:58] So now that I'm older, I'm like, who cares?
[00:01:02] Well, I'm so glad I'm old. I don't really care if I have these little quirks or not. I could care less. I mean, all of those little flaws in your personality end up making you who you are as a person.
[00:01:22] So I am starting to embrace my overall weirdness.
[00:01:27] Just to let you know, I am completely content with me and my little quirks.
[00:01:35] But to explain that to you in a way that you will understand better, I'm going to tell you a story about myself and an incident that happened when I was growing up.
[00:01:52] So two of my quirks are I'm pretty much an insomniac, so I do not sleep well. I'm a very light sleeper, and I've been like that my whole entire life.
[00:02:06] When I was a kid, I always was up early in the morning before anybody else, especially on the weekends. My parents would try to sleep in and I was up. I was up by 5 o' clock in the morning.
[00:02:23] My dad, later on in life didn't sleep all that well either. And he would get up early and read. So he was always up by five o' clock reading, too. So it wasn't unusual for us to be up early and reading a book somewhere. Or sometimes if we got up early and we were both early, early, up early at the same time, he would take me out in the fishing boat when we lived on the lake and we would go fishing. That was like our peaceful time together.
[00:02:55] So being an insomniac didn't seem so bad at times. It seemed good. And it was a trait that I could bond with my dad, so that seemed okay. I kind of got over being an insomniac. Even now today, being Retired, I get up at 5:30 every morning. I just don't sleep that well. I might go to bed at midnight, but I'm still up early. That's just how I am. That's the mold that I was made with.
[00:03:30] So the other thing that I've kind of alluded to in some of my stories, but the other characteristic I would say that I tried to shy away from was that I was afraidy cat. I was kind of scared of my own shadow.
[00:03:46] Seriously afraid of my own shadow.
[00:03:51] And the times when I am at my best is if I'm fighting for somebody else. But I think if it came to fighting for myself, probably not so good. Probably would put my tail between my legs and run or hide in a closet somewhere.
[00:04:10] So I am afraid a cat. I have a little bit of anxiety.
[00:04:15] And those two together can be quite a quirk to deal with.
[00:04:24] So the story goes, I was probably, I don't know, maybe 9, 10 years old at the most.
[00:04:37] It was a Saturday morning and everyone was still in bed. So my brother was still asleep and both of my parents were still asleep and I was up at 5am I had to learn how to be extremely quiet when everyone else was still asleep.
[00:05:00] So it wasn't so bad if I decided to read a book. I was an avid, avid reader growing up and I read a lot to this day.
[00:05:12] But that morning, this particular morning, I didn't feel like reading. I was feeling restless for some reason.
[00:05:23] I wanted to do something else, but I knew I had to lay on that couch and be as still as I possibly could.
[00:05:33] We had a TV room and we had a desk den.
[00:05:37] And the stairway to the upstairs bedrooms was in between the TV room and the den.
[00:05:45] So I decided to go to the den because I thought I could be quieter on that couch than I would be if I went to the TV room because I would probably become tempted and turn on the tv. And I could never play it low enough for my dad not to hear.
[00:06:06] So I went to the couch in the den.
[00:06:11] And it just so happened that the previous day we had been shopping, my brother and I with my mom.
[00:06:19] And my brother was very good at conning my mom into buying him toys anywhere we went. He definitely needed a new toy.
[00:06:30] So the toy he had gotten the day before was a submarine. It was quite a big submarine. It was going to be something that he put in the bathtub when he was taking a bath.
[00:06:43] And the submarine came with a periscope.
[00:06:47] So if any of you don't know a periscope is a long arm that comes out of the submarine, and then it has a little scope where it can look down, because it was when they were in the water, you know. So the periscope would look down, and it would be able to see other things in the water.
[00:07:15] So instead of it pointing up and seeing something in the air, it would look down to see other things in the water.
[00:07:23] So I was kind of fascinated by the periscope itself, and it was. It was. It could be easily disconnected from the submarine.
[00:07:34] So I started playing with the periscope while I was lying on the couch, and I was, you know, kind of experimenting.
[00:07:44] I would turn the periscope up so I could see the ceiling and kind of look around, and it had, like, a magnifying glass. And I thought, oh, that's kind of cool, you know?
[00:07:55] So I did that for, like, 15 minutes. I'm looking all around the ceiling, looking at the shelves and the den, looking at other books, seeing what I can see, seeing if there's anything out of the ordinary. I mean, what a dork, right? What a complete dork. But what I can say about it is I did know how to entertain myself, and I think my parents did appreciate that.
[00:08:21] So I'm looking around, and I decide, okay, I've seen everything up. I think I'll turn the periscope down like it's supposed to be. So I roll it over in my hands, and the periscope goes down.
[00:08:34] And at that moment, I saw something moving in the periscope. I'm telling you, I froze completely still, and my heart started racing.
[00:08:51] It was beating so fast.
[00:08:55] I'm like, what was that? Is somebody in the house? Did somebody break into the house and we just don't know it. Somebody's in the other room.
[00:09:06] What was that thing moving?
[00:09:10] I just kept laying still.
[00:09:12] I laid as still as I possibly could for a couple of minutes, and I go, well, let me see if I can see it again.
[00:09:21] So, sure enough, I put the periscope to my eye and I pointed it down, and there was that movement again, and it looked like a face. I'm like, oh, my God. Somebody. Somebody's in the house.
[00:09:34] Somebody's in the house. I'm going to have to yell. I need to yell to wake my mom and dad up.
[00:09:41] What am I going to do? What am I going to do? My heart was pounding, and I was trying so hard not to jump off from that couch and go running upstairs.
[00:09:54] I started talking to myself.
[00:09:57] You don't know what it is, Dawn.
[00:10:00] Just lie as still as you possibly can.
[00:10:06] Don't move.
[00:10:09] Take your time.
[00:10:11] You can figure this out.
[00:10:14] You don't need to wake your parents up.
[00:10:17] It's only six o' clock in the morning. Because by now I'd been messing around with that stupid thing for about an hour, checking things out.
[00:10:27] Oh, my Lord. When I look back, I think about myself. What a nut job. You know what I mean?
[00:10:34] So anyhow, I finally got myself calmed back down again, and for the third time, I took that periscope and I followed it to the end.
[00:10:48] And all of a sudden I saw it moving again.
[00:10:52] And I'm like, what is that?
[00:10:55] What is that? This time I tried not to think about the possibilities.
[00:11:03] I tried in my mind to figure out what it was that was moving.
[00:11:12] And I followed the scope all the way down to the end.
[00:11:19] And I realized at that moment that the thing that was moving was my big toe. And the face that I saw was actually my toenail. Okay? I am not kidding you. I'm like, oh, my word. Oh, my word.
[00:11:39] And every time I would wiggle my toe and I saw it in the periscope and I understood that it was me just getting nervous. And every time I got nervous, I would wiggle my toe.
[00:11:56] Let me tell you, I started laughing so hard at myself. I mean, I was elated that it was nothing more than my big toe.
[00:12:08] You know, I'm like, this is the most ridiculous thing. You have absolutely lost your mind.
[00:12:17] Okay?
[00:12:19] But I got over it. I ended up putting the periscope down and I waited quietly for about another half an hour. Then my dad got up, and then we started our whole day. We started our whole day. My mom got up, my brother got up. I never really thought about the big toe again until we were eating dinner that night.
[00:12:45] And then my brother came to the dinner table with the submarine and the periscope.
[00:12:52] And I just burst out laughing when he came to the table.
[00:12:57] And my parents are like, what in the world is the matter with you? I said, yeah, that's right. What in the world is the matter with me? You are not going to believe what happened to me this morning.
[00:13:10] So they knew I got up early. They were used to it by now. They knew I didn't sleep. My mom said I didn't even sleep that much of it as a baby. So that was no shock to them that I had been up before everybody else in the household.
[00:13:26] And then I started telling them the story of how I had this periscope.
[00:13:33] And I wanted to see what I could see with it. And how I was laying on the couch trying to be so quiet, trying so hard not to move. And how I had experienced floored all the upper parts when I had it focused up so it's like a right hand or a 90 degree angle. So if you point it up, then it was looking at the ceiling and I would, you know, turn it sideways. And I was looking at everything in the house and just trying to figure it out if it. What it made it look like, did it magnify it? What? So I was telling them this whole story about how I was so fascinated with the periscope and we had never had anything like that. And then I get to the point of. But today, what happened scared the living daylights out of me. And they're like, what? What could it possibly be? You're laying on the couch in the den.
[00:14:30] Which is so true. I mean, what could it possibly be? I go, I really thought somebody was here and they were moving around. And my parents are like, what in the world are you even talking about?
[00:14:42] I go, well, after about 20 minutes of me laying still and being completely petrified, I finally picked the periscope back up and in the 90 degree angle, I pointed it down. I saw the movement again and I got scared again. But this time I only took a couple minute break because I'm like, what is that? I got to know if someone's in the house so I can yell out to my mom and dad. My parents are like, she's there.
[00:15:16] And I mean, they raised me. They know I'm a little off. Okay?
[00:15:20] So finally I get to the crux of the story and I go, the truth of the matter was the thing that was wiggling when I had the periscope pointing down, I discovered was actually my big toe on my right foot. Well, that was it. If you can imagine. My parents were in complete hysterics.
[00:15:45] They already thought I was funny to begin with, and so they laughed so hard they thought it was the funniest thing that they've ever heard.
[00:15:55] And they teased me for such a long time after that. Well, at least we're not afraid of our own big toe. Which is. Was a standing joke in my house for many years after that.
[00:16:09] My dad was quite a jokester himself, and he would always, you know, tell us jokes and make us try to figure things out.
[00:16:19] So to give him fodder like that of me being kind of crazy and figuring out that my big toe was wiggling was just more than he could bear. You know, I went to off to college And I if you've been following me, you know that I had an English teacher when I was in San Diego that was difficult.
[00:16:49] And so for her I thought, well, you know what, I'm gonna write that story of my big toe out and just see what she thinks about that story, because it is kind of ridiculous, but it is good for a laugh as well.
[00:17:09] So I told the whole story, probably a little bit more drawn out than this tale is, and I sent the paper in to her.
[00:17:22] And the following week the paper came back.
[00:17:25] And I will never ever forget it. She's like, you have one of the most vivid imaginations of any student I have ever had in this class. Barring none.
[00:17:43] I didn't know whether to take you seriously or if this was just a joke.
[00:17:51] None. Nonetheless, the paper was well written and there were only a few grammatical errors.
[00:18:00] So I will pass you on this paper.
[00:18:06] But unbelievable. She said I had to read. She. When she handed the paper back to me, she said to me, I had to read that paper two or three times to really understand exactly what had gone on.
[00:18:24] And she said, you might have been able to add a little more to the story when you were writing the paper. I go, there was nothing more. That was it. I was up early, everybody else was sleeping, and I was trying to figure out a way to entertain myself so I didn't wake the rest of the family up.
[00:18:48] And what came out of it was I ended up being afraid of my own big toe because apparently when I get nervous, which I still do even to this day, I wiggle my toes.
[00:19:03] And until the story of the periscope, I don't think I ever really realized that I'm a toe wiggler. Okay, so that is the story.
[00:19:16] I was afraid of my big toe and I learned that I'm a toe wiggler to this day.
[00:19:24] And I'm still an insomniac and I still have a little bit of anxiety, but I think the an anxiety might be self induced when I think back on it.
[00:19:38] But anyway, I just wanted to do a light hearted story today because sometimes the nursing stories that I tell can be pretty heavy.
[00:19:50] And so it's good for you to see me in a different light, to understand kind of how I work. And now that I'm older, like I said in the introduction, it's not so hard for me to own up to my flaws, all of them. And believe me, there are many, many, many of these crazy stories.
[00:20:13] But this will be the first one. I hope you got a kick out of it.
[00:20:19] I hope you enjoyed the story.
[00:20:21] I hope you got a couple laughs in there.
[00:20:25] And I hope when you see me next, you don't think about my big toe until the next time.
