Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi everyone, this is Dawn Klem and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarch.
[00:00:09] Today I'm going to tell you a story. I'm not proud of the story, but when I share this story, most of my friends laugh so hard. Everyone I've told the story to thinks it's funny.
[00:00:23] To me, it's not so funny. Actually. It's an embarrassment I of my horrible behavior and a testimony to the fact that I actually cannot consume more than two glasses of wine or a couple beers. I'm not a drinker at all in any way, and I have done some really crazy stunts when I have drank too much alcohol.
[00:00:53] I'm happy to say I haven't done it in the last 25 years, thank God.
[00:00:58] But I can say I've had a few episodes when I have done things and I have been profoundly ashamed and embarrassed by but the first episode happened when I was about 19 years old and let me go back to the time when I I had turned 16.
[00:01:25] It was part of our high school curriculum for the students to go through driver's training, and the teachers that taught at the high school were assigned to groups of students to get through driver's training class.
[00:01:44] Nowadays, when my daughters were in high school, they actually had to go to a separate driving school to get their driver's license. So times have definitely changed from when we were all in high school.
[00:02:01] But I was also young. My birthday was in October, so I didn't really. I wasn't going to turn 16 till I was a junior in high school.
[00:02:12] And the summer before my junior year is when I was assigned to go through through driver's training.
[00:02:21] So I should I want to put this caveat in there. I had never ever been behind the wheel of a car. I had never driven anything at all, period.
[00:02:34] Before I started driver's training, I mean, my grandpa had a tractor, but I sat on the tractor or I dragged on the back of it and my dad worked at the car dealership so he we never really owned our own car. I know that sounds so strange, but that is the truth. We did not own our own car because he would just drive a demo home and we had so many different cars all the time.
[00:03:05] My mom didn't drive. She didn't have her driver's license either.
[00:03:10] And the year that I was going to go through driver's training, my mom decided she she was going to go through driver's training. So both of us got our driver's license at the same year, which is so that's funny too you know, it's funny how things were back then, but anyhow, driver's training was a challenge.
[00:03:31] And we had the guy that was our driver. There were four students to a car, and he really loved the horse racing, the Trotters.
[00:03:45] So for night driving, he would take the students down either to Jackson, Michigan, or down south in Ohio to a track, and they could use that as their night driving training.
[00:04:03] So I'll never forget, like, the first day where the high school had a semicircle in front of the school where parents would drive up and drop their kids off. And that is where the driver's training cars were. When you were getting ready to start, you had classroom work to do and then you had your driving to do.
[00:04:27] So we all get into the car and he's like, dawn, okay, why don't you take the wheel first? I don't know why I'm laughing. It's so embarrassing. So I'm like, okay, you know, first of all, I'm sure short, still short was very short then. I think I was 4:11.
[00:04:44] I don't even think I had hit the five foot mark yet.
[00:04:49] And so I did require a pillow behind my back to prop me up farther, but I was still down low in the seat.
[00:05:01] I wouldn't have mattered. I was so nervous, nervous, nervous, nervous. And when we got.
[00:05:08] When I got behind the wheel of the car and I had never been behind the wheel of the car, I was probably about ready to have a heart attack or a meltdown. I would say I was going to have a meltdown, a total anxiety attack.
[00:05:21] So it gets me to start the car, gets me to put it in drive. It's an automatic, says, okay, move forward and take a left hand turn out of the semicircle when we get to the street.
[00:05:36] So I'm like, okay, so did I do that? No, of course not. Because I was a nervous wreck. I drove straight out of the semicircle, did. Never turned onto the road, drove up onto the sidewalk across the street, and then I turned left. And he is like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Okay, pull over.
[00:06:04] We're gonna, we are gonna regroup because this is gonna be a problem. I can see right now. I was like, oh, my God. I don't know why I'm laughing. Better laugh than cry, right?
[00:06:18] So the other thing he did is he looked at me right then and there and he says, don, you are not going to be doing any night driving down to the racetracks with this group. They can go, but you're not going to be able to go, oh, gee, I wonder why.
[00:06:36] Oh. Driver's training was a definite challenge for me. And I remember doing highway driving, which I was about ready to have a nervous breakdown on that. And I spent most of the time on the, you know, between the road and the grass. I'd be in that lane, which is not a lane, that's like an emergency lane. And he'd like, get the car on the road, get the car on the road. Oh, Lord.
[00:07:07] I did manage to pass driver's training that year. I don't know how. It's a miracle.
[00:07:13] And I passed the test without any problem. I am book smart, but not too good.
[00:07:19] To this day, I would say that I am not a very good driver. I would say I'm a great driver when I'm alone by myself in the car, but if I have anybody in the car with me, I'm immediately nervous and I'm a completely distracted driver.
[00:07:39] I don't know what my problem is. I think it's some of its self confidence. Could have been from that rocky beginning in driver's training, but I don't know. I don't know what it is.
[00:07:52] So, as you can see here from this, this podcast, driving is not one of my strong suits.
[00:08:05] Well, I think I was about 19. Yeah, I was 19 years old and I was home from Western and we were out partying.
[00:08:19] A group of us were out partying.
[00:08:22] And I really can't drink alcohol either. That's another thing I can't do. I mean, I can drink. I can have a couple glasses of wine. I might be able to have a couple beers. I definitely should never drink hard alcohol unless it's just one drink.
[00:08:43] And I don't drink very much. I drink very little, but if I happen to drink more than I should, I'm a crazy person. So I don't know if I'm allergic to alcohol.
[00:08:57] Who knows, But I don't think it's a bad thing. So this night, all of us were out and we had gone to a party.
[00:09:08] One of my friends who had graduated a couple years older than us had been at the party or sent word to someone at the party that he was going to be bartending at the Legion, and he wanted all of us to go there so he could give us drinks.
[00:09:28] So I went to the Legion with my friends and sure enough, he was there bartending. We were all happy to see him and we basically closed the Legion down. I think everybody else was gone.
[00:09:41] We were still there at the Legion partying.
[00:09:45] It came to an end.
[00:09:48] Well, I had never had a car, but that year my dad had helped me get a car.
[00:09:56] He knew that I had struggled at college without transportation, without not being able to hold down a job because of that. And he also knew that I was driving to Coldwater when I wasn't at school because I was trying to be a waitress over there to get money for school. So he knew I needed a car.
[00:10:18] And my mom was driving now, so she needed her own car to get back and forth to work every day. So he co signed a loan for me for a 1972 Camaro.
[00:10:32] It was like a gold color. I remember. I'll never forget it because I was so, so, so excited to have my own car. That was like the best thing ever. I finally had a car. The car payments were $200, $220 a month.
[00:10:50] And he co signed for me. And he said, if I. If you are ever late on a payment or something happens to the car, I will not be paying for it in any way. You will still pay for that car. So. So I'm like, okay, I get it, dad. You know, I got the full on lecture. He co signed the loan and I drove off with the car.
[00:11:16] Well, that night at the Legion, I had my car.
[00:11:19] When we closed the place down and we were all leaving, I really had no business getting behind the wheel of that car.
[00:11:29] And my parents, who I was still living with, lived about, you know, three miles out of town. We lived out on a small lake, and it was a rural, windy road to get out to them.
[00:11:43] So I. I should not have been driving.
[00:11:47] One of my friends was there with me, a guy, JD or John.
[00:11:52] And he knew I shouldn't be driving either.
[00:11:56] But he made it in his head that he was gonna follow me home and make sure I was okay. He was driving a motorcycle.
[00:12:06] So I get behind to the wheel of the car and I'm driving erratically, I might add, according to him. I don't remember a thing about that night at all.
[00:12:18] And I start. I turn onto a street and I think I took so wide of a turn on that street that I ended up on the grass.
[00:12:28] And as if that wasn't bad enough, I ran into a fire hydrant.
[00:12:35] I was. I didn't even stop me. I kept going and I actually dragged the fire hydrant off from where it was planted, dragged it down the road. If you can even imagine that. I still did not know. And I do not remember to this day. Day he is like freaking out, as you can imagine, and he is Driving up beside me on my side of the car, screaming, pull over, pull over.
[00:13:07] But I didn't pull over. It was like I was possessed, seriously possessed. And I kept driving.
[00:13:15] I drove all the way home like that. And he kept trying to get me to pull over. Even gotta pull over, he's screaming. I never did, never did, never pulled over. One time, even after hitting the fire hydrant, I still never pulled over.
[00:13:33] So finally I get out to where my parents house is and it was on a little gravel road on the lake. So I turn onto the gravel road and I'm about one house away from, from my parents house.
[00:13:51] And for whatever reason I run into a tree.
[00:13:56] And the car stops still.
[00:13:59] My parents heard the car hit the tree and they came running out of the house.
[00:14:06] And John was still there on the motorcycle. He saw the whole thing. Poor John. Poor John. I'm sorry. John is still a good friend of mine.
[00:14:18] So my parents come out, they're trying to talk to John. John's trying to tell him I'm. I told her so many times to stop, she wouldn't stop. I didn't know what to do. And I look at all three of them. I go, I'm exhausted, I'm going to bed. And I left all of them there to talk. I walked upstairs, went to my bedroom and I crashed. Can you believe that? Can you even believe, believe that happened?
[00:14:46] Well, you would think that this is going to be the end of the story, but of course it's not. It's never the end of the story when I'm telling you a story, believe me, there's always more to the story.
[00:14:56] And sure enough, the same thing happened. I woke up the next day, I didn't remember a thing. My parents had to tell me what happened. They told me how gracious John was. Apparently John stayed up with my parents most of the night talking about what a disaster I am.
[00:15:16] And you can imagine that it's so terrible, isn't it?
[00:15:20] And.
[00:15:21] But I missed it all, so it didn't matter to me.
[00:15:25] And my, my parents were waiting for me when I got out of bed. So they had quite the long lecture for me and how I really needed to thank John and thank God he's such a good friend of yours and you're so lucky that he's in your life. I can't even believe he stuck it out with you during this whole trip home.
[00:15:46] And.
[00:15:48] But he feels really bad because he never should have let you get behind the wheel of a car and blah, blah, blah. And, and your car is Crashed. It's dead and gone.
[00:15:59] And my dad said I'm gonna have somebody come and it's gonna be towed away. I've already called them, but it's not fixable. And so now you're stuck with that loan. I told you I was never gonna pay. Make a payment on the car. And the that stands to this day.
[00:16:20] So basically, I think I had the car about three months before I totaled it, which is so depressing. Extremely depressing. Okay.
[00:16:31] I'm like, oh God, I felt terrible. I really did. I was really upset with myself.
[00:16:38] I was upset about the car.
[00:16:41] I was upset that I was terrible to John, who was trying to help me during that time.
[00:16:47] And my parents had said so many great things about him. I thought, oh, I got to do something to, you know, ask him for forgiveness. I remember I was created this whole card, I think I got pictures on National Geographic and made this whole homemade card for him and was thanking him. How friends can cross bridge and help you out at the worst times of your life. You know, all this kind of stuff. Because really I owed him a lot for hanging in there with me that night.
[00:17:25] John had been going to Western at the same time I was up there and we had become great friends up there.
[00:17:33] So it wasn't a far stretch that we were home for on break and he was out partying with us.
[00:17:40] And so that was, you know, that was how he ended up to be there with me to begin with.
[00:17:47] So I'm just eternally grateful that he was.
[00:17:52] So I'm trying to figure out what are my next steps going to be. I didn't have a car to get to work and I was going to have to start borrowing my mom's car. I was in such a mess at that point. I was, it was at a time where am I going to go back to Western or not? I don't have any money.
[00:18:12] My parents aren't going to help me. What am I going to do? And now I don't have a car either. Of course I didn't have it before. That wasn't going to impact me. But it did impact me. I wanted to start to maybe grow up a little bit. Maybe this was my wake up call, Dawn. Time to grow up a little bit.
[00:18:33] And so I knew I had some real soul searching to do at this time.
[00:18:39] And so I was, you know, I had like a couple of days off at home by myself to really think about what am I gonna do here. I need to get my act together.
[00:18:53] Well, in the meantime, I'm at Home.
[00:18:58] And all of a sudden, the doorbell rings.
[00:19:01] I'm thinking, who the heck is that? I'm not expecting anyone.
[00:19:05] My mom and dad were at work. My brother was at work. I'm the only one at home still trying to get over my pickle in my mind of a mess that I have created.
[00:19:17] So I answer the door, and there stands a police officer from Hillsdale. I'm like, this is going to be interesting.
[00:19:28] He said, is your name Don Pharaoh? I said, yes, my name is Don Faro. Pharaoh is my maiden name for those of you that don't know that.
[00:19:38] He said, were you in a car accident a couple days ago? I go, yes, I was in a car accident, but it didn't involve anybody else. So what? Why are you here asking me about it?
[00:19:53] He said, well, I believe you ran over a fire hydrant and you pulled the fire hydrant out of the ground, and your license plate fell off on the fire hydrant.
[00:20:09] I mean, what are the chances? Okay, boom, right there, I was caught.
[00:20:16] Well, of course, he didn't catch me drunk driving, but they did catch me. They knew that I obviously, why was I driving, you know what I mean? And I pulled a fire hydrant out of the ground. The people on the block where I pulled the fire hydrant out, they didn't have water for two weeks after I pulled the fire hydrant out because they had to repair the water line and everything. So that was a whole nother thing that I caused.
[00:20:46] So he proceeded to write me up two tickets and hand them to me that day and tell me, you can either pay the fine, but actually we would like you to show up in court.
[00:20:58] So I'm like, okay, thank you, officer. I'm trying really hard to be polite because obviously I have caused a real problem for the city of Hillsdale.
[00:21:11] So my parents come home that night. My dad's like, oh, for God's sakes. It just goes from bad to worse. Which is really true. It did. I don't know why I'm laughing, because part of it is because I'm so embarrassed. And part of me are like, what are the chances of somebody, license plate falling off and getting stuck on the fire hydrant that you've just mowed over?
[00:21:36] What are the chances? Okay, I have to own up to it.
[00:21:42] So I had to report to court, and I think it was like, they gave you a month, so it's still in the summer.
[00:21:50] I am just ruminating over this whole situation. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I gotta get, you know, I gotta just go in there, be honest, face the music, and get on with my life and get my crap together. This is ridiculous. I can't go on partying like this with no job, no money to go to college.
[00:22:18] It's just ludicrous.
[00:22:20] Okay, so it definitely was a wake up call for me.
[00:22:25] So the day comes for me to go to court, I'm kind of nervous. I've never been to court ever in my life.
[00:22:34] And I get into the courthouse, they call my name up there.
[00:22:39] This is, how do you plead? You're charged with, you know, damage, damaging property and reckless driving. I think even though they hadn't caught me driving, the fact that I had pulled a fire hydrant out of the ground, they figured I had to be pretty reckless and erratic at that time.
[00:23:01] So those were the two charges that I had.
[00:23:06] And they go, how do you plead? And I go, guilty, your honor.
[00:23:10] Because I was guilty.
[00:23:13] I was guilty. I. I wish I wasn't guilty. I didn't want to be guilty, but I was guilty. So I pled guilty. I didn't even try to get out of it. I didn't try anything. I didn't hire a lawyer. I didn't do anything. I faced the music that I deserve to have played that day.
[00:23:33] And so they find me, and they find me. $35 for each offense. Can you even imagine that? I cannot imagine that. I didn't even have to pay any money to have the fire hydrant and the water pipe or whatever they had to do. I didn't have to do anything to rectify that situation, which really I should have had to do.
[00:23:59] You know what I mean?
[00:24:01] So anyhow, that was terrible.
[00:24:06] I got charged. And then my mom said to me later, well, they all know your dad. They probably gave you a lesser charge. I don't know if they gave me a lesser charge. I mean, I pled guilty, but I think the. The real issue is they knew that I felt terrible.
[00:24:25] I mean, I really did feel awful. I was my own worst critic at that point. I really was.
[00:24:35] I ended up going back to Western in the fall that year, and that is also the year, the fall that I joined the Navy.
[00:24:47] So that's what came out of this little adventure.
[00:24:51] And John, who's still my friend today and was my good friend, then encouraged me to go to talk to the recruiter because he was doing an ROTC program for the Marines.
[00:25:04] And he actually gave me sound advice.
[00:25:09] He gave me probably the best advice that I ever got from anybody.
[00:25:15] And he.
[00:25:19] I mean, I think I should just tell him. Kudos to you buddy.
[00:25:24] I mean, you helped me turn my life around and I appreciate that.
[00:25:31] I really appreciate that and I feel lucky about that.
[00:25:37] We're having our 50 year high school reunion this year and I'm looking forward to seeing him.
[00:25:46] And maybe at that reunion I can actually tell him thank you after all these years for basically saving my butt that night and also for being a good friend and helping me get my act together and moving forward in a positive way in my life.
[00:26:10] So cheers JD and honestly, I'm glad I told the story because it's just a reminder to me that we all make stupid mistakes in our life, but we can recover from them.
[00:26:32] And I really shouldn't drink at all.
[00:26:36] There you go. Know your limitations, right?
[00:26:41] Those are the two morals of the story.
[00:26:45] So I hope you enjoyed this story until the next time.
