EP18 - Another Day in San Diego

[00:00:00] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Clem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and monarchs. Today, I'm going to be finishing the story of when my friend Cindy came from Hillsdale to live with me in San Diego. [00:00:16] And that will really complete my first year of being in the navy out in San Diego. So I hope you enjoy it. [00:00:28] So her mother had agreed that she could come out and live with me, and they loaded up her pinto in Hillsdale, and they started the long trip to California. You have to remember a couple of things. It was during the time when we didn't have cell phones. I didn't even have a telephone in my apartment. I had been using the phone booth down the street from the jack in the box, as I told you previously, so. And usually I was making collect calls. So she had told me that she was going to be coming, but I didn't know for sure when they were going to get there. [00:01:11] So it took. It took, like, three days to get out there, because they would stop at a hotel. They drive, and then they'd stop at a hotel. [00:01:20] And then finally, on the third day, maybe the morning of the fourth day, the pinto pulled into the driveway, and I was beside myself. I was so excited. And they brought so many things to make the bungalow a home, not just a place to live. So they brought blankets and throws, and they brought pictures and mirrors, and they brought dishes and so silverware. They just really outfitted the whole bungalow. And it looks so, so, so cute. And I was really, really happy. I felt like, okay, now I've been here, and I'm finally gonna get settled in to living here and working here. That's exactly how I felt. And she was really excited, too, because the bungalow itself was so, so cute. So it was. It worked out really well. [00:02:19] The very first day they got there, we decided we were going to go out to eat dinner. Her mom was going to treat us that night. And there's so many great restaurants then, and still today in San Diego. If you've never been to San Diego, it really is such a great destination city. There's so much to see, there's so much to do, and it's so beautiful in every way. I just love it there. And I've been back several times since, and every time I go back there, it just pulls in my heartstrings because of the time that I did spend there. I just. It's always going to be a part of me. [00:03:04] So we decided. [00:03:06] My landlord, who I told you about previously, had kind of taken me around on his motorcycle and shown me the city. And he'd taken me to a couple of restaurants, too, that he thought were good. He was from southern California, so he was an expert on it. And so one of the restaurants he had taken me to previously was a chinese restaurant that I thought was really good. It seemed a little different from your standard takeout menu, and so I was kind of excited to bring Cindy and her mom into the restaurant and see how they liked it. And it wasn't very far from the bungalow, so all of that was great. We had a lovely time, and it was really so good for me, because even though I had started this new life in the military, part of me really was so homesick for all of my friends. You know, you just pack up and you move to a new state, and you start your whole life over, and you start without really knowing anybody. And so, you know that it was a challenge for me. I think some of the things that had already gone on were making me feel like, wow, it's not so easy to be an adult. [00:04:26] So it was so comforting to have her mom there. [00:04:30] We had a lovely time. Her mom's always been so gracious, and she still is to this day. And we went back to the bungalow that night and just got more settled in, and then we went to sleep. I had to work the next day, of course, so, lo and behold, and much to my dismay, I think I may have gotten food poisoning that night. And I spent most of the night in the bathroom. I don't know if it was food poisoning, though, because neither Cindy nor her mother had any upset stomach. So I really don't know what happened, but I was sicker than a dog. And I'm like, what the heck? I had no sleep. Literally no sleep. And I'm like, how am I gonna work? I didn't even know how to handle that. Here I am living off, baby. What am I supposed to do? So at 06:00 in the morning, when I would normally be taking the bus into work, I got up and I called the unit that I was working on, and I said, oh, I am not coming in today. I am so sick. I think I got food poisoning last night. [00:05:44] They're like, what do you mean you're not coming in? Oh, no, no, don, that is not how it works in the military. I'm like, what? Yes. That is not how it works in the military. We don't just let people call in sick. You have to prove to us that you are sick. You're part of a team, and the team needs you. So in order for you not to work because you're ill, you have to come to sick call and let be examined and prove to them that you really are sick. I'm like, you know, I'm taking the bus. They go, yeah, get on the bus right now and get to sick call and let us know how it turns out. We'll mark you down as being late until we hear from you whether or not you actually are sick. Like I'm gonna make that up. Well, I suppose people did. But I was naive enough at that point to never even think about doing something, something like that. [00:06:53] So I remember I was so weak and tired. That's all I remember. And I remember thinking, I hope to God I can get on this bus. I gotta take two of them and get to the hospital to sick call without having an accident either way. Okay? So I'm like, I'm gonna do my best. So I got dressed, I washed my face, brushed my teeth, got into the. Got on the bus, and I just sat motionless. I didn't want to move at all. I was so afraid I was going to have an accident either way, either vomiting or the other end. So I didn't even move. I stayed still and got to the next bus station, got on the next bus, and then, lo and behold, I made it to the hospital. Hallelujah. I was saying to myself, hallelujah. [00:07:47] And I get to sick call, and they hand me a cup, and they go, we need a specimen to see whether or not you're actually sick. So go to the bathroom and come back with a specimen. I'm like, what? [00:08:04] I mean, all of this was just so new to me. New. Completely new. And I was mortified at the thought of having to give a specimen in a cup to show them that I was having diarrhea, but that is what they were asking me for. So I go into the bathroom, and lo and behold, it didn't take much for me to be able to give a specimen. And I come out of the bathroom, back out to the front desk, I hand them the cup. They took one look at it, whoever was in charge, and I'm sure it was just another corpsman like me, hospital corpsman. He takes one look at it, and he goes, yep, you're sick. Go home. I'm like, what? [00:08:54] Yes, that is exactly what happened. You're sick. Go home. We'll call the unit and let them know. So I'm like, okay. He says, you're only off for one day. Make sure you get back to work tomorrow. [00:09:10] If you're still sick tomorrow you still have to come back to sick call and produce another specimen. So I'm like, oh, my God. [00:09:19] Okay. So I get back on the bus. I managed to make it back to the apartment. You know, get on the one first bus, make the change, get back to the apartment after I get on the second bus. And I just pass out for the morning. And it was okay because there was a time change. It's a three hour time change from Michigan to California. So Cindy and her mom were kind of sleeping in anyway. And so it was good. I slept for, like, three or 4 hours. And when I got up, they had just started moving around in the bungalow and putting things up and getting things organized. So that was a great relief to me. And both of them were feeling fine. [00:10:07] Her mom said she was gonna. She had gotten a flight, so she was gonna be flying back the next day. And today we would just work on getting things organized in the apartment and, like, I could show her where the grocery store was and things like that. Cause she helped us stock up our cupboards and make sure that we were gonna be all set when she left us on our own devices, which was so wonderful. I mean, how lucky was I, really? [00:10:40] So the next day, she got on the plane to go back. Cindy gave her a ride to the airport, and I went back to work, and I was feeling fine, so there was no problem with that. [00:10:53] The one thing I would say about that whole experience, though, when I look back on it, I would be mortified if something like that happened to me today. But it is true. You are part of a team, especially when you're working in healthcare. And we rely on each other to help each other out, taking care of our patient loads. Now, that being said, we do have a float pool. And a lot of times, the float pool will be able to send extra help. But there's many times in the hospital, all throughout my career, believe me, that there wasn't extra help. They went to other units that needed more help than we did, and so we would end up doubling our assignment. [00:11:41] And what I learned from that whole experience was that that concept of being a great team member is the most important thing you can do in your life. And it was very evident from that experience. [00:11:59] I took that forward into my professional workload. And I never. [00:12:07] I shouldn't say never. Never is not the right word. I rarely called out sick, so I always say the navy broke me of the habit of calling out sick before I could even start it. That is the honest to God's truth. I just don't call out sick. It's not the responsible thing to do. And you don't want to leave your patients or your team members in a bind. [00:12:34] And I wish. I wish nowadays that other people had, and I've said it so many times, maybe I wish people, kids would graduate from high school and be expected to go into the military for the first couple years. Helps you grow up a little bit and you learn things that you can use for the rest of your life that sometimes you don't get those lessons in life. You don't even understand it, even after you've been working for a while. I mean, I worked with many people that called out or called in, depending on what part of the country. You live sick quite often. And they could have cared less if they're leaving their team in a lurch, and they'd say, oh, I'm going to pick up a shift. Well, you can pick up a shift, but that doesn't help the shift that you called out on. So I think, you know, just learning the responsibility and being held accountable from the military helped me grow up a lot, and I would love to see that tradition carried forward with our young people today. I don't think it would be a bad thing, but anyhow, that was my start to Cindy living there. So Cindy's like, wow, this is gonna be. This is something else, dawn. So she, we had the, another young lady who was our age that was living over the garage. Mary and Mary and Cindy became good friends. Mary came down, she lived up in northern California. She was from that area, and she worked for environmental company. And her, it was her responsibility to type up reports. So they would have geologists out there checking out soil, water, all those kind of things, ecology, erosion, that kind of thing. And then Mary would be responsible for typing the reports up. She didn't work full time, so she had some flexibility with her schedule, which worked out good for Cindy. So when I was working, then Mary could have time off, and the two of them got to explore Southern California together. And that worked out really well. But we did get to do a couple of fun things together. And one of the first things that we did is we all went to Tijuana. [00:15:11] That's also something that has changed so much. And I know we talk about, you know, the influx of immigrants coming across the border, but it really wasn't like that. When I lived back there, we had some. Usually the people that were coming over from Mexico illegally were pregnant women, and they would lay in the parking lots of the hospital when they were in labor, and there wasn't a hospital around that was going to leave them in the parking lot like that. And we would let them come into the hospitals and have their baby. And if the baby was born in the United States, then the baby became a citizen of the United States. So this is what they were looking for. It seems like it's a little more legal way to do things, but I don't know. I can't even go into the immigration thing right now. I'm just telling you how it was then. [00:16:13] So when we were driving across from California into Mexico to go to Tijuana, you just went through a check, kind of like you do from Michigan to Canada, same kind of thing. There's just a guard gate there, and they would check you out, you know, are you a citizen? That kind of thing. You didn't even have to show a passport or anything back then. I think we showed our licenses, maybe, and we drove down to Tijuana, which really isn't very far from the border. We get down there and we're all. We were excited to go down there. We were really, really excited. But what a difference from the US to Tijuana. I mean, there's children everywhere. There were children everywhere begging on the streets. They would just come right up to you and ask you for a dollar. They not even necessarily selling something. They're just begging for money. Sometimes they would sell those churros, the cinnamon sticks, for a dollar, and you could give them money that way and still get a treat. But we didn't really know. And we had always been told to be careful down there because their water in their sewer wasn't very good. So we didn't really want to eat down there or anything like that. [00:17:40] We did go to the shops. So the shops are set up on the sides of the road. They're not like stores. And it's not like, you know, going into Macy's, finding a cute outfit, going up to the counter and paying for it. [00:17:56] You barter, you bargain with the people that are selling the wares. And there's blankets and there's dresses, and there's leather goods, and there's. There's everything down there. And, of course, and they have the sombreros. They have everything. Little things to put in your gardens. And so it was kind of fun because we were excited to buy some things from Mexico that we actually could say we got in Tijuana. [00:18:27] So all three of us ended up getting mexican dresses, the ones that are embroidered on the sleeves across the top and then a little bit down the front. Mary and I both got white ones, and Cindy got a yellow one, and we love that. Cindy was the one that was in charge of barter because her family owned that import business, and they went all over Asia to buy wicker baskets. And so she knew already knew how to barter. So we got the dresses for really what I would consider reasonable price. So. And she was so good at it. So let's say they started out, they were asking $20. She said, well, would you take 15? [00:19:18] I think by the time we were done, we had gotten them down to $12, and we were all excited to get the dresses. But of course, typical me. I'm like, $12 is so cheap. Do you think we should pay them a little bit more? The other two are like, oh, my God. I go, maybe they. Cindy's like, don, this is what they expect. I go, well, we could throw in a tip. And they're like, no, we're getting the dresses. Be happy about it. And that was so classic of me, and still to this day. But we had a great time. We did manage to get into one of the bakeries. I like the bakeries, too. They're little corner bakeries, and they have these large silver carts that stand over 6ft tall, and there's silver. A large silver tray on every shelf filled with pastries. They give you a paper bag, and then you take the tongs and you go around and you get the pastries that you want to go to bring back. [00:20:25] And the thing about their pastries are they're not very sweet. They're more like bread. Bread, I would say usually at bread, because they're very good at making, you know, like, tortillas and bread. And so the most of the pastries were bready with maybe powdered sugar or some kind of topping on it. But we loved doing that, too. We had a lot of fun just getting a couple of bags of pastries to bring back. [00:20:58] And we were down there for the whole afternoon. But then you. I mean, you look around and you were just kind of taken in. The culture is fun. It was a fun place to be. But you look at everything you have, and you look at everything they have. It's just a whole different way of life. And when you're so young like that, it's just eye opening to see the difference between the two countries. [00:21:28] So we got to do that. And then one of the other things we got to do was experience nightlife in San Diego. So that was something new for us, too. [00:21:44] And there's so many places to go for young people our age. Believe me, the drinking age was 18 then, and I was 19, almost 20, and Cindy was 20. So we were gonna go out. Mary, too. We were gonna go out, and we had picked out a couple of places that I had heard from the other corpsman at work that were really great. One of the bars name was Foggy notion. Foggy's notion. And I had heard a lot of things about them. They always had a live band. It was a fun place to go. So we all get all gussied up, and we're gonna be ready to go. And we get there, and they have a large. I mean, a very large bouncer at the door, not a white american. [00:22:37] Let me just put it to you that way. [00:22:40] And he says, let me see your ids. Of course. So I give him my id. He goes, you're not 18. I go, I am 18. No, you are not 18. Yes, I am. I'm 18. He says, give me your idea. I'm going to go put it under the black light. So he took my license away and he left. Cindy and Mary were all ready to go in, but of course, here I am again, stuck, always in some kind of trouble. It feels like that. Anyway, so he comes back and he gives me my license. He goes, I'm not going to let you in because I don't really believe that this is a real license. I think it's a fake. It's not a fake. I am almost 20 years old. I want you to let me in. You can imagine. He probably stood 2ft taller. I mean, the guy was tall. He was like six foot five or six foot eight. He was just a big dude. Not just tall. Big. Okay. So he finally decided to let me in, by the grace of God. And we went in there, we had a good time for a couple hours, listen to the band, had a couple drinks, and we decided to leave to go back home. So get out. We're walking out, and there he stands. And of course, now I've had a couple drinks of alcohol in me, so I am not gonna let the situation just go. No, I can't do that. I have to say something. So I walked up to him, and I go, you're the biggest, baddest. And before I could say anything else, Cindy grabbed a hold of the back of my pants and just pulled me straight to the car. She goes, oh, my God, dawn, we're gonna die. What the heck do you think you're doing? [00:24:33] So that. That was the start of our nightlife there. So I had to learn how to behave myself, even though I was frustrated. [00:24:42] But she helped me calm down, and we made it through that situation. [00:24:48] One of the other things is it was going to be the holidays now. So thanksgiving was coming, and Cindy's brother, youngest brother's girlfriend's parents just happened to live in Del Mar, which is about 45 minutes from San Diego. And so they had invited us over for Thanksgiving day dinner, and we were really excited about that, the two of us. But then Cindy reminded me that sue, the woman, her, she was a vegetarian. They had a son, her brother's girlfriend's brother, who had severe allergies. So they had decided to try being vegetarians at that time, thinking that maybe some of the food additives were giving him allergies. And so they had, were going to have a completely vegetarian Thanksgiving. I'm like, veget, I have never had a Thanksgiving dinner without a turkey. And she's like, well, you don't have to worry about it. We'll cook a turkey when we get home. I'm like, yeah, that such a good idea. So easy, right? This is why you have your friends living with you. They get you, you know? So we went over to Del Mar, and her parents were there, and she, Greg, and Kim were there, and the brothers were there, and her mom, sue, put out the most amazing spread of food that I have ever eaten in my life. You wouldn't think that vegetarian food could be so great, but you have to remember, it was really. That was another time. They were way ahead of the time when it came to being vegetarian. Don't. I never knew a vegetarian until I met her. I'm almost 20, right? [00:26:41] So. But she made, like, I remember, sweet potatoes. She actually made some kind of stuffing, too. [00:26:48] Just all different kinds of things. I think that's when the first time I ever had hummus. So they had a lot of different things, and the food was really amazing. Of course, you can have any kind of potato you want. So it was. It was wonderful, and it was really good to be in a family environment. And then when we left there and came back to our bungalow, Greg and Kim came back to see what our place looked like. And they really loved it, too. They thought it was so cute, and they were excited for Cindy and I to be living there. And then Cindy and I promptly cooked our own turkey dinner, and we were quite happy about it. So we had leftovers from their house and our turkey dinner. I think we did make mashed potatoes. [00:27:35] So that was another great thing. Well, it got to the point, though. Cindy had been living there now since, like, July, I think, and we had talked off and on about her getting a job. She didn't really need to because, um, I mean, the apartment was paid for by the navy, so it wasn't like it was a big thing for her for expenses or anything. And she helped me with the groceries and stuff like that, so she. It wasn't a burning need for her to get a job. It was more because she was starting to get bored. And I could understand that. I mean, I was still working the three rotating shifts, so days, evenings, and nights, and she spent a lot of time with Mary, but she was kind of getting bored, so. And I think this was actually before Thanksgiving that I decided to help her out. I think it was more around October. [00:28:32] Yeah. Because I think she worked there for about three, three or four months. So I decide I'm a walker, and I've been a walker for a long time in my life. And in San Diego, I walked everywhere as well. So I was walking and thinking about things, and I'm like, oh, walked right by a photo mat. Well, photo mat, that was before. [00:28:55] That's just another thing that's changed so much in all these years. Now we have cameras, and we just take pictures whenever the heck we want. But back then, you had a camera, then you'd have to take the film in to get it developed. Photo matte was like a new thing. Wow. You could drop your film off, and then you could pick it up in 48 hours. [00:29:18] Before that, we were waiting sometimes two to three weeks to get our film processed. So it was kind of exciting. I thought, photo mat, I bet you she's gonna like that. That would be a good job for her. Not too stressful, kind of fun. She could look at other people's pictures. And so I got the application from the person that was working in the booth that day, and I brought it home, and I said, what do you think about working at photo Matt? She goes, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. So she filled out the application, she took it in. I think they hired her right on the spot. And she worked there a couple days a week, and she actually really, really liked it. She's a people person. Anyway, so people just driving up to drop their film off or coming back in a couple days to pick up their film was perfect for her. And she got to look at all the pictures and everything to make sure that the pictures were going to be of good quality when the person came to pick up the photos, so she was enjoying it quite a bit. [00:30:22] Well, flash forward, we're into the holidays now, and so that's when things start to happen. And sure enough, I come home from work one day, and she goes, you're never going to believe what happened to me today. And I'm like, what? She goes, I got held up at gunpoint. Aw, man. Yes. So I don't even think she had that much money in the photo booth. But this is what happens when you get closer to the holidays and people need money. They're gonna look for a place to, the quickest place to grab some money. You would have thought they would at least try to 711, not a photo booth. They probably only got about a $100. Mean, seriously, I don't think it was much, but as you can imagine, she called her mom. Her mom was not happy. She didn't call her from our house. We didn't have a phone. She had to go to the photo booth, I mean, the phone booth. [00:31:22] And her mom wanted her to come home. She would have gone home for Christmas anyway. I don't think she really would have stayed, um, during the holidays. And that was okay, really, for me, because I would have been working Christmas day anyway. But instead, what it turned out to be is that she was just gonna go back home and she wasn't gonna live there anymore. [00:31:48] I was so bummed out. I mean, I totally get it when you look back on it, especially you get it, because if I was her mom, I would have said, you're not living there either, right? So. And the six months was up for us to live there, so I decided I gotta find a better place to live. I'm tired of taking two buses. I'm gonna find a place that I only have to take one bus. And. [00:32:18] And that's what happened. She packed up her stuff, her mom came out, and they drove the pinto back to Hillsdale. And I looked for another apartment. And then in January, I got to move into my new apartment, which only needed one bus. And sometimes I would just walk to the hospital. Wasn't so bad at all. It was great. [00:32:47] But that was the end of Don and Cindy's fabulous adventures in San Diego. At least we had six months, and it was worth every minute of it. And we're still great friends today, thank goodness. [00:33:06] I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I hope you got a couple of laughs out of it. This is like Laverne and Shirley in San Diego, and. But you can see how I was starting to turn the corner and grow up a little bit. And be ready to maybe move into adulthood. [00:33:29] Even only at 20 years old. You grow up quick when you're in the military. [00:33:38] If you have a story that you want me to share, or if you would just like to give me feedback, please go on to my website, milkmon.com milkmon.com all one word. There's also contact information on there on how you can call me directly if you want to have a conversation with me. I would love to hear from you. [00:34:06] I have many more episodes to come of ordinary to extraordinary and I can't wait to share those stories with you. [00:34:19] Until next time.