Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Clem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and monarchs. Today I'm going to finish out the story of my first year in San Diego at Balboa Naval Hospital.
[00:00:16] The last episode I talked about Cindy, my friend from Hillsdale who had moved with me, had gotten a job at Photomatix and had worked there probably about three months. And right before Christmas, she got held up at gunpoint, and it totally freaked her out, and why wouldn't it? And so her mom said, you're gonna come back home.
[00:00:43] She would have gone home for Christmas anyway, but this kind of sealed the deal that she was going home for Christmas and she was not going to be returning.
[00:00:54] I was understanding of the situation, but also bummed out in my own way because I had been through so much just trying to get settled in out there. The first year was man, a man, oh man, oh man. A big challenge for me.
[00:01:13] So it was the first year in my life that I had ever spent Christmas away from my family, and I was 20 years old, if you will recall, or if you have not listened to some of the previous episodes, then I'll just refresh your memory and let you know that my mom originally had six siblings. One of them had passed away. So there were six adult children with their spouses, and that turned into being 19 cousins, including myself. And two of my cousins were my age and went to school with me all the way through high school. So that was kind of fun. But the reason why I'm telling you this is because we spent every holiday, major holiday. So Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter on my grandparents farm with all of the siblings, their spouses, and all of the cousins. So it was quite melee, and we had so much fun, believe me. So my grandma always made a big dinner, whatever it was, a big turkey dinner. A lot of times on Thanksgiving, she'd cook a turkey and a goose at the same time.
[00:02:40] And then I think we also had turkey on Christmas, and then at Easter, we had a big ham. And then all of her daughters would bring, or her daughter in law's would bring down side dishes to go along with them. And my grandma cooked a lot, too. She was a farmer's wife and she had been cooking all of her life, and I think she actually loved it. And the best part about her cooking was it was just. It was simple, but it was delicious. Every one of us still talk to this day about how we cannot replicate her recipes.
[00:03:22] I don't know, it's just one of those things. It's one of those innate things that would happen.
[00:03:28] So here I am. I'm in California, and I'm not going to the farm for Christmas, and my roommate has just left me there. I knew I had to work on Christmas day, so I was going to get through it, but I was still really bummed out.
[00:03:49] Well, in comes Forsteen. Forsteen was a nurse that I worked with on the unit, and so I was the only female corpsman. But all the nurses that worked there were all women rn's registered nurses. I think we got one male nurse towards the end of me being there.
[00:04:15] So they kind of looked at me as I was like their little sister. They'd all gone through college and they were all officers and I was enlisted and they would take me under their wing. And Foresteen was just such a great influence for me. She was from southern California already, so she knew the culture there quite well. And she was a phenomenal nurse.
[00:04:43] She had an unusual personality. I don't know if it's because she was raised in California. None of us were from California, just her. And she was so much more laid back in her approach towards people. That's what I remember the most about her, very laid back. But she, if you were doing something that she didn't think was right for the patient, she'd be the first person to speak up. So she was definitely a patient advocate. And for that, I respected her immensely. She taught me so much about how to care for patients at that time because I had absolutely zero experience.
[00:05:24] So that was really good. So she learned that my roommate had left. She had actually met Cindy, so that worked out good. Forstein had an apartment in, um, Ocean beach. So it was fun to go over to her apartment. She was kind of quirky. I consider her to be kind of an artsy person. So, uh, she was like boho chic before Boho ever came out. And it was fun to go to her apartment because she was a few years old than me and just see how she was doing, you know, decorating and living on the beach, and you're just like, wow, this is so awesome.
[00:06:07] So anyway, she knew that I was gonna be alone on Christmas, and she came up to me and she said, dawn, I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm not gonna be going home to see my family either, because I also have to work on Christmas day. So you and I will be together on the unit. But why don't we do up Christmas ourselves since we're not going to be able to go home? And I was like, yeah, that sounds great. Well, she made all the arrangements, and she picked me up on Christmas eve night, and she took me to the hotel downtown in San Diego. It was the Westin hotel. It was kind of ritzy Tootsie, you know what I mean?
[00:06:55] I had never been in such a grand hotel before in my life. So going into that hotel was quite a eye opening experience. Of course, they had the dorm in there, and then when you walked into the main entrance, the whole hotel was decorated for Christmas. And it was decorated in these pink and white and turquoise flocked trees. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life. First of all, I'd never seen anything but red and green for Christmas. My mom did like to get those flock trees. She always loved that when they spray the snow on it.
[00:07:44] But we never had a pink one, I can tell you that. And they had these big, spectacular silver and gold and pink ornaments on them. I'm telling you, it was like going into a fairy princess land. That's what it felt like to me. It was just unbelievable. And they had the big rope garlands around the fireplaces. And that hotel was probably the most stunning thing I've ever seen. And I've well traveled since then. But this was quite the experience.
[00:08:23] So they escorted us upstairs to the dining room, and when we got up there, they had our table all set for us, but it was right next to the grand piano, and they had a man, a gentleman there, playing Christmas music during the whole time we ate dinner there. Oh, my God. I was so excited that she had done this. I was so excited. I don't remember what I ate that night. That is one thing I don't remember. But I can tell you it was something so formal and something so out of the ordinary. And I remember being quite happy about it. And she ordered us Christmas beverages.
[00:09:15] Forstein did. I mean, she took care of me just like I was her little sister. And it was incredible. It was an incredible experience.
[00:09:26] So, anyhow, I'm enjoying the whole situation, and she says to me, hey, I've been thinking about it. You know, those poor inpatients, they're all young guys. None of them can get home to their family, and now here they are in the hospital sick. I think we should do something. And I came up with an idea. I said, you did this? Yes.
[00:09:53] So she had gone out and she bought everybody. You know, she estimated how many people were going to be there because we still didn't know who would be discharged to go home for the holiday.
[00:10:05] But she estimated who she thought would still be in the hospital according to what their diagnosis was.
[00:10:12] And she went out and she bought a bunch of red felt stockings. You can't even find felt anymore, I don't think. But at the time, it was so cool. So she got everybody a felt stocking, and then she had the list of their names.
[00:10:30] So we were going to put their name on the top of each and every stock stocking. And then she had gotten a pair of tube socks. That was the thing back then. I remember even my grandma, my grandma always gave tube socks to all the grandsons, and my husband told me that his grandma did the same thing. So poor steen came by it honestly, and she bought everybody a pair of tube socks. So we had tube socks that we put in the bottom of the stocking. And then she bought a ton of candy to go in there, candy canes and, you know, Christmas candy. I mean, it was so much fun. So she says, we'll go when we get done with dinner, we'll go back to your place, and we'll put them all together.
[00:11:27] And then I got special permission for all of us to, or for you and I to be able to go in at midnight and hang up the stockings while they're sleeping. So I'm like, oh, that's all. That's amazing. What an amazing idea. So I was really excited about it. We talked about it a little bit more, what our plans were going to be and how we were going to tiptoe around on the unit. I mean, it wasn't going to be easy that if one of them woke up and saw what we were doing, which, of course, that's gonna happen, right? But still, we were really, really happy to be doing something that we thought was gonna be meaningful to those guys. Our impatience.
[00:12:17] So we made it through dinner, and then we drove back to my apartment. We got all the stuff out, and I'm pretty sure we had glitter to write their names on the top of the stockings, and everything just looks so great. We were really excited about the whole situation.
[00:12:40] It was really, really a fun idea that we were, like, gonna be, like Christmas elves going into the unit and hanging up the stockings on the foot of their bed.
[00:12:51] So we get everything packed up, and we get back over to Balboa. So, you know, I lived a little ways away from there, two buses away from there, and. But she drove, and that was great. So she could park up front temporarily. We got permission for that. And then we got into the unit, and the night nurse was there, and the night nurse was really excited, too, to help us out. So we are all tiptoeing around, hanging these stockings on the foot of everybody's bed, and it was so much fun. There were a couple patients that kind of raised their eyes up and looked at us, but they pretended like they weren't really watching us. So we. We went along with it, too, because we didn't want to ruin it for everybody else. So we got all the stockings hung up. At midnight.
[00:13:48] We were so excited. We get back in the car, and she takes me back home, and then she's gonna meet me on the unit the next day. Day. And I was so happy. I was really, really happy that we were doing something good, especially since I was so homesick. For the first time, really. I think for the first time, when Cindy was going home, I really started to feel homesick, and I really started to think, what the heck am I doing here? I mean, I'd already been in for a whole year. That's pretty good. I think I did good. But it was. It was one of those things, you know?
[00:14:29] So she says, I know the bus doesn't run on Christmas day, so I'm gonna come back and pick you up in the morning. So I was grateful for that, too.
[00:14:40] So she came and picked me up at 06:00 we get over to the hospital, get in there, and the guys are starting to wake up now, and they all are seeing their stockings at the foot of their bed.
[00:14:55] Let me just say that was probably one of the most memorable experiences that I had in the military, because they were so grateful. They were so grateful. It wasn't very much, but it was something, you know? And, of course, every hospital across the country always makes holiday meals. So I think they had turkey that day, and they had a really fancy breakfast, too. We're serving all the trays ourselves and laughing and joking and carrying on, and we got to play Christmas music on the unit. And that was a lot of fun.
[00:15:40] We just had a super fun holiday, which could have been, like, a disaster for me. I could have been sitting home crying, right? Or I could have been working and grumbling around, but I wasn't. Those stockings just made the difference.
[00:16:00] So I worked my regular hours, and then I got done, and I went back home. I actually walked home that day. I didn't care. You know, that was the thing about being in southern California. If I would have been in Michigan and Ohio at my grandparents house, there would have been snow, but there is no snow there. It was nice out. And I remember walking home just feeling completely satisfied over the day and how everything had gone, and I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, which was a great thing.
[00:16:37] I decided on the way home that I was going to stop at the phone booth and call my mom and dad and see how everybody was doing.
[00:16:45] And when I called my mom, my mom was, you know, so happy to hear from me. She heard the whole story, and she said everybody at my grandparents house had missed me and that they hoped that I was having a good holiday.
[00:17:04] And I said, mom, this is the craziest city to live in. I've. I've never seen anything like it. And she says, well, what? What are you talking about? She said, well, I was walking home today, and even the seven elevens are open. I'll never forget saying that because I came from a small town. Nothing was open on Christmas day. I mean, I was saying to my mom, I think it's blasphemous that stores would remain open on Christmas day. Something is wrong with that.
[00:17:39] That was my whole take on that situation.
[00:17:44] But the other thing that really came out of that, that day, for me, it was the first time that I really was able to be away from my family and look at the family situation. So I had always just taken for granted going to my grandma's house, eating a wonderful dinner, being with my cousins, going outside, walking all over the farm after dinner, going to the chicken coop. All those things had been part of my life, all of my life. And so I just took it for granted. I didn't think anything of it. Well, being away from home really made me realize how lucky I had been. And I was so grateful to have started my life out the way that I did. A lot of people don't have that kind of upbringing, and I really did a lot of reflecting that day about so many things. But the one thing that I did do from that Christmas forward, no matter where I was stationed or what I was doing, I made sure to have a Christmas centerpiece delivered to my grandma's house.
[00:19:14] So she always had flowers on the table. From that day forward, I wanted my grandma to know that I appreciated everything that she did for all of us. And she loved flowers so much. So the least I could do, really, was get a centerpiece for the table for her to enjoy. And the first year that they got sent to her, my mom was like, your grandma was over the moon over those flowers. And it was so funny, too, because everybody went every year, but none of us ever gave it a second thought to get my grandma flowers for all the work that she did. I don't know. Sometimes you're in the middle of things and you just take it for granted and you don't even understand how good you have it. You have to go away or get in some kind of situation where you think back and go, wow, I really had such a great upbringing. And she was part of the reason why. I mean, she was stern, don't get me wrong. But she was also grateful, too. And she loved those flowers. She looked forward to getting them every year. And then because of the Christmas, flowers were such a big hit, I started doing other things for her, you know, things that she wouldn't expect.
[00:20:48] And I got more flowers for things like Mother's Day. I would send them to her and say, happy grandma's day. If I found something in California that I thought she would like, I would send her gifts, those kind of things. And when my grandma passed away, she was 94, so she lived a great life. And I was at her funeral. Some of her friends came up to me and they said, oh, you're dawn.
[00:21:23] You're the one that's the nurse. And I didn't even know until she died that she had been telling everybody all about me sending her flowers, me sending her gifts, me doing all these things for her. I never would have known until her funeral how much that had meant to my grandma.
[00:21:50] So that Christmas really changed me in so many ways. And Foresteen is definitely part of the reason she. Foresteen worked as a nurse for a long time. She got out of the military. I just want to give you some background on her. And she's still living in southern California, but she went back to school, and now she's a psychologist. And why wouldn't she be? She's so compassionate, caring, analytical. She understands people's problems. She came into my life at the perfect time to help me. And she helped me not only with the things like the holidays, but she helped me understand that we're not all the same. We're not all cut from the same cloth.
[00:22:48] Vorstein was different. She was artsy. I had never been around anybody like her ever in my life. And she had a quirky sense of humor. So all of those things opened up my eyes to know that it's okay if we're different. We don't all have to be the same. We really don't. It's good to be different.
[00:23:13] So she did a lot of things for me, and this podcast is really a shout out to you, Forstein, you're an amazing person, and I appreciate everything that you did for me when I was so young and naive. You're awesome.
[00:23:37] I hope you enjoyed the podcast. Today I am going to be spending just a couple more sessions talking about my time in the military. So the next session I'm going to be speaking with you about three patients that impacted me and made me learn so much. Not only about myself, but probably where I was going to be headed in my career. So I have that podcast. And then we found out shortly after the new year, while I was still working on that inpatient unit, that we were all going to be. Anybody who was a corpsman at Balboa Naval Hospital was going to be scheduled to go overseas.
[00:24:28] So I'll be talking to you about my overseas duty station, the next podcast after the patients, and then I have some stories on people that have influenced me, who went from ordinary to extraordinary, and I will begin interviewing folks as well. So we are moving along and I'm enjoying it, and I hope you're enjoying it too. If you have someone that you know you would like me to talk to or interview, just go on my website, milkmon.com. it's m I l k m o n, all one word.com. and at the very bottom of the page there'll be a section where you can write in information, or you can get my contact information there and give me a call personally. Either one would be fine, and I would look forward to talking to you and having the opportunity to share one of your stories.
[00:25:46] Until the next time.
