Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Clem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and monarchs.
[00:00:08] Today, I'm gonna share the story of how I met my husband from my vantage point.
[00:00:16] The next podcast will be him telling the story from his vantage point.
[00:00:23] So before I get into how I actually met him, I'm just going to talk a little bit about my beginning in Portland and share a couple of fun facts about my life at that time.
[00:00:42] So I told you I had found the apartment when I was in the gift shop at Maine Medical center, and I had gotten hired. So I moved into my apartment, and I lived in that apartment for about two years. Probably one of the best things that I've ever done for myself. Because living by myself, I really got to know who I was as a person before then. I had been in the military, I'd been married. I had always lived with someone. I had really never been on my own before. And being on my own was amazing. It was just an amazing thing for me.
[00:01:28] And I grew up in my thirties. Probably most people grow up in their twenties, but not me. It took me to get to my thirties before I really came into the person that I am today.
[00:01:45] So I was living in my little apartment, and I was living on the eastern promenade. And one of the things that I love to do more than anything was walk the pathway of the eastern prom. It's a sidewalk, the whole upper part of the promenade. You can just walk a path and you can just look out over the ocean, but the sidewalk also goes all the way down to the ocean. So you can go a couple of different ways on that eastern prom. And I just remember walking on that prom and saying to myself every day, thank you, God, for giving me a new start. I'm not gonna screw up this time. Thank you for giving me a second chance. I'm gonna make better use of my time, and I'm gonna be the person that you really want me to be. I'm not going to screw up this time. I'm going to do my best. So, with that in mind, I would walk to Maine medical Center to work. It's a couple mile walk, but it's just a straight shot from the eastern prom to the western prom. But in the middle section of that walk is the back end of the city of Portland. So there's little shops and restaurants there. And one day I was walking and I looked at a big brick building, and it said, acting lessons for ordinary people. And I said, huh, maybe I'm going to try something like that. I was only working part time at the hospital, and I had been there about six months, and I was starting to feel like, you know what? I don't know if I want to really be in the hospital. So I had been thinking about exploring different options at that time, including visiting nurses, which ultimately I ended up going to visiting nursing from the hospital.
[00:03:59] But the thought of me trying something different outside of work also excited me. And so I signed up for those acting lessons.
[00:04:10] It was a ten week course, and we met on Thursdays, sometimes Tuesdays and Thursdays, I think.
[00:04:20] And there were about twelve people in that class.
[00:04:25] And it was a good way for me to meet people too, because I didn't really know anybody in Maine. I knew the nursing staff, of course, but I didn't know anybody else. So I was kind of throwing myself out there so that I could get more entrenched into the culture and have some good friends.
[00:04:48] So I just remember they were people from all different pathways, and not one of them was a nurse or not one of them worked in healthcare. So that kind of excited me too, because I wanted to meet different people. We had a lawyer in there, we had a businesswoman.
[00:05:07] Some people had done acting for a long time, so it was a variety of different people. The age ranges were probably 28 up into their fifties. The man that was in charge of the company had also had a children's company called the Peanut Butter Players.
[00:05:31] And so he was just trying to discover talent. That was one of the things he said. So it was so much fun. It was really fun. I remember in the beginning I was completely intimidated going there. I mean, I had never, I didn't even act in the class play, okay? So me taking acting lessons is just hilarious in and of itself. But I did it and I had a great time and I learned so much. My favorite part was improv, where you would have to stand up there and be able to just respond quickly. I mean, I learned so much. But one thing I didn't know when I signed up is that there was going to be a scheduled performance at the end. And I'm like, you got to be kidding me. I was petrified. I was completely petrified.
[00:06:26] The acting lessons were in this old brick building right on the corner of Congress and Forest street, and it was on the second floor. It was all wood floors. And the night of the performance, there were folding chairs in a circle around the center of the stage. So we made the center of the floor our stage. And there was a lot of people there because there were twelve people in our class, and everybody had their family and friends there. Of course, I had zero people there, which didn't bother me. I probably made it easier for me to get up in front of everybody, and he had assigned each one of us a part that we were gonna play. So you're showing off your talent.
[00:07:21] And he had given me the part of kind of like a crazed old woman that was kind of a witch like profile. So I'm like, oh, yeah, I can do this, right? Yes. So I was petrified, though. I really was. But once I started talking, it seemed so easy. I remember I walked in and around the people in their seats, and I would get really low and get into their face, and I would say all these crazy things, and I had my script memorized perfectly. And at the end of all of us performing, they gave us a standing ovation. And our teacher or instructor just thought it was one of the best classes he ever had. He said, and everybody, you know, went on their merry way after the performance, and I'm getting ready to leave, and he comes up to me and he goes, john, that was incredible. I'm like, mm hmm.
[00:08:31] I don't know. I just didn't trust anybody at that point in my life. He's like, yeah, it really was. And the reason why I'm approaching you is because I feel like you could actually become an actress full time if you wanted to do that. I go, no, I haven't ever even thought about that. He said, don, you reminded me so much of Lily Tomlin. And I think of Lily Tomlin. She can be kind of crazy. So I'm like, well, I guess I have achieved what my goal was to. He said, no, I really want you to go home and think about it.
[00:09:10] Well, I'm telling you the story, because I did go home and think about it. I actually thought about it for a long time. Was I going to make a career change at that point? But you know what? No, I couldn't make a career choice. The truth of the matter is, I am a humanitarian. I was born to be a humanitarian. I'm a natural giver. I like to give. It makes me feel good, and I hopefully the receiver feels good, because I'm giving. I like to take care of people. I'm a natural caretaker. So being a registered nurse was just perfect for me. And I am grateful that I took those classes, because I think it did bring me out of my shell a little bit, where it made me realize, you know, you can do other things, too. Dawn. You're not limited in your life, but the one great thing that happened to me in that class is I made a good friend. And the woman's name was Susie. And she convinced me that we should start our own brokerage firm. So brokerage for talent is what we were doing. We started a company and we named it networks. So it was capital net, and then lowercase works. And net stood for New England talent works. So what we would do is we would put ads in the paper. I remember I made up one with Uncle Sam pointing at you, saying, New England talent wants you kind of thing. And we would interview people. We had a actor. No, it was comedians and musicians mostly. So we even had a couple people that played the harp. We had pianists, we had bands of all different kinds, and we had comedians. Those were the main groups of people that signed up for our brokerage. Then what we would do is we would go to bridal shows. And at the bridal shows, the potential bride would come up to our booth and ask us what we were selling. And we would tell her about our company. And then if they hired us, we would give them videotapes of the talent. So anybody that interviewed with us to be part of our business would provide a VHS tape of them playing their band, singing, or any instrument they played, or their comedic efforts. And then we would have them all filed. So let's say a woman came over and she's like, I need a band. I want somebody that plays fifties music. We might have a category for fifties music. And we would let her pick out a couple of names that she thought sounded interesting. And we'd give her the VHS tapes to review. And then she would come back and let us know if she wanted to hire that person. And then we would be in contact with that band to let them know that they wanted to hire them. So the band would pay us a fee for service, okay, for lining them up with a potential client. And that's how we made our money.
[00:12:53] So it was going pretty good, I think. We had 700 clients, so entertainment clients and.
[00:13:04] But the problem was, I hadn't known susie very long, as you can imagine. And we had two completely different work ethics, and it was not going well.
[00:13:18] She didn't really want to work that hard at it. She wanted me to do most of the work. And so I was getting frustrated because I was still working as a nurse at that point. I had left the hospital, and I was doing visitors nursing at that time. So I was driving. Plus I was trying to get all these clients lined up. And I felt frustrated with her because I didn't feel like she was putting the same amount of effort into it. You know, that's what happens when you go into business with someone that you don't really know so bad on me. But what happened is we ended up having a big fight. I refused to give her all the files because I had the files, and then her husband ended up calling me. He basically bought out my half of the business. And so that was. It was short lived. I think we had it for about six months. It was so exciting, and I do think it had the potential to turn into something more. But you gotta work with the person that's gonna, you know, work well with you. And really, we did not work well together. So that's the end of that story.
[00:14:30] But as you can see, I'm in a new environment, and I'm trying new things. I had never really worked as a visiting nurse before, and I was driving in rural Maine, and I met some very fascinating people in rural Maine. And I will share that story with you of some of the clients later on. But right now, I had been living in my apartment for about two years, and after the business dissolved, I was thinking, what am I going to do? Do I want to be in the hospital? Do I want to continue to drive for a living? Really? I'm a terrible driver. I have no business driving for a living. My husband always says, you need to get in your car, drive to work, and park it. You should not be driving. And that is the honest truth, too.
[00:15:27] And I'm like, well, there's other mediums. I could go work in a doctor's office, or I could go work in a nursing home. So I knew I had some of those options still to explore, but what did I really want to do long term?
[00:15:43] What I really wanted to do, I decided, was maybe meet with people in, like, a group, maybe create my own group home. That's what I was thinking.
[00:15:57] And I said, I got to buy a house to do that. I can't stay here and pay rent.
[00:16:03] So I decided I was going to get a roommate.
[00:16:08] I couldn't have a roommate in my apartment, so I was going to have to answer ads to be someone else's roommate. But I figured if I moved in with someone, I could save enough money, I'd be able to buy a house, and then I could kind of turn it into what I would really like it to be. Maybe a foundation or maybe just a group home. Something where I could do a little bit more to help people. That's what I was thinking.
[00:16:41] So I made up my mind to move out of my apartment, but I had to find a place to live first. So I started interviewing as a potential roommate, and I decided, of course, at first, I'm going to interview with women. Well, I did not find any women that I thought I was going to be able to get along with. I think I do communicate better with men. I'm more of a direct communicator, and sometimes that doesn't go over well with women.
[00:17:15] I'm not very touchy feely. I don't. I don't have that gene, which is unfortunate. And so I think my communication style is just better suited towards men. I know in my last job as a navigator, I could work with seven really tough neurosurgeons that were all men. And we did have one female, and she was probably the one that I communicated less with the other the men. I got along great because I would just say, this is how it is, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they'd be like, okay, don, let's take care of it kind of thing. So I interviewed with four different females, thinking, okay, well, you know, just because you can't get along with one doesn't mean, no, it didn't matter. All four of them were not going to work for me. So then I go, okay, well, I'll try. I'm gonna try my hand at moving in with a male. My mom thought I was off my rocker. Okay, just to let you know, because I did talk to my mom a lot about, you know, my next steps. And my mom was like, oh, good lord, what does the matter with you? And my poor mother? I put my mom through a lot in my life, believe me. So I said, oh, mom, it's gonna work out. It's gonna work out. So the first three situations were two males looking for a female roommate. And each of these three situations, I would go into the house, and it was a complete dump. Dump.
[00:19:03] And I thought it was very obvious that they wanted a female because they thought she is gonna be the one that keeps the house clean and in order. And I'm like, no, you're not. I'm not your roommate to be your house maid. It's not going to work.
[00:19:20] I had one last person to interview, and that last person turned out to be my husband. So I drive out to his house.
[00:19:33] It was like 05:00 in the afternoon, and he met me there. It was a new build house, a Cape code style house, and it was out in the country, which definitely suited me. I'm outdoorsy. I like to be outdoors. So I pulled into the driveway, and he met me at the door. He had a dog, and his dog went crazy for me right away. Golden retriever amber. That dog loved me immediately, and he just thought it was the weirdest thing. Oh, she doesn't like anybody. Mm hmm. No, she loved me. I love dogs, too.
[00:20:09] So that was a good start. And I walked into his house and it was immaculate. It was very clean, okay. Which I really, really appreciated. But the one thing about it being clean is it was clean, but decorated in college dorm style, which I did not really care for. But I'm like, okay, well, we're gonna, you know, let's just see how this goes. So I looked all around. The other thing was, he had advertised it as a three bedroom, two bathroom. So I was thinking I was going to have my own bathroom. Well, the story is it was a three bedroom, two bathroom, but the whole upstairs was undone. He actually slept in one of the bedrooms upstairs, but we had to share the bathroom downstairs. I'm like, uh, I don't know if I can do that. I don't feel like you were honest in your, in your, in the paper. He goes, I'm working on getting the upstairs done so it won't be a problem. I'm like, okay, all right. I said, let me go home and think about it. So he called me. He said, I really think we could be roommates. So I said, okay. So I went to work. They worked with a bunch of nurses. At the visiting nurse, there were like twelve of us. And all of them said, are you out of your mind? You are not moving in with a man. I said, I'm going to move in with the man. They said, no, you're not. Not until we have lunch with him.
[00:21:52] We need to meet this person to make sure that he is going to be okay as a roommate for you. So I'm like, okay, whatever. So I called him up. I said, the nurses I work with want to make sure I'm making the right decision.
[00:22:09] So you're gonna have to come to lunch with us. Would you be able to do that? Now, I was working in Saco and he was working in south Portland, but he said he'd be willing to come to Saco to lunch. So that was a good start because the nurses thought, okay, this is a good thing. If he's going to come down here and meet us, he can't be all that bad.
[00:22:36] So he came and met us, and I introduced him to everybody, and then we had a great lunch and he's so personable. He is very friendly. He's a nice guy. All around nice guy. Still a nice guy after 30 years of marriage. And he, when he was done eating and had to go back to work, all of them looked at me and they're like, oh, my God, he's wonderful. He's the nicest guy. I don't know how you ever met him. And I'm like, yeah, he's great. And the other thing is, he has a girlfriend. He's been dating this girlfriend for four years. She lives in Boston. He goes to see her every other weekend. What could be the harm of me moving in with him? And all of them took a vote at the table, and they all agreed that I could move in with him and that he was a great guy. So that night, I went home and I called him. I said, well, you passed.
[00:23:40] Everybody really likes you, and everybody thinks that it would be okay for me to move in with you. He says that? Great. He said, next weekend, I'm going to be going down to see my girlfriend, so feel free to move in. We're all set. We're good to go. So it was going to be like the 1 May, I think I ended up moving in.
[00:24:02] But what I did, I have to be honest, I moved all my furniture in, and I moved all of his stuff to the basement that I didn't like.
[00:24:13] Isn't that so terrible? I mean, I had a pull out couch, and I had nice furniture, and his furniture was terrible. The only thing I didn't really have was a kitchen table. So I was stuck with his kitchen table and the naugahyde chairs that had duct tape on him. You know what I'm talking about?
[00:24:31] But I even took his silverware out of the drawer, and I put my silverware in. Isn't that awful? Oh, my God. What a pushy broad. But anyhow, he came home from the weekend, and I had transformed that place, and he's like, oh, my God, my house looks amazing.
[00:24:51] It's so funny. When I look back and I go, I'm glad you like it. He goes, where's all my stuff that go in the basement? He's like, okay, whatever. I love it. I'm so glad you moved in. So that was the beginning of me and my now husband.
[00:25:13] I will. I really should just end right here. And then I'm gonna let him talk about his version of how he met me, and then I'll come back and tell you, um, some more information that I'm sure you're gonna get a big kick out of.
[00:25:34] So thank you for taking the time to listen today.
[00:25:39] We have been reviewing my website, and I just now figured out after all this time, I was hiring a social media manager to try and help me get the word out about my podcast. I'm really not looking to make money on a podcast, but to me, the world is so crazy right now. If there's someone like me that can offer some humorous, some inspiration, and some hope to people, I would love to do that. I know I've lived kind of a crazy life. I think it's a little bit different than most people, and just to be able to tell stories that might hit a note with you or make you think, that's going to give me great pleasure. And I look forward to continuing on with this podcast.
[00:26:30] However, the social media manager kind of screwed up my website. So I saw yesterday when I was with a friend at lunch that you can't really easily access the comments section. So I appreciate that. If you want to make a comment to me directly, I think you should use my personal email. And my email is d, as in Donna Clem Klem, the number one att.net. and then that way I can make sure that I am hearing your comments from you and I can contact you back if I need to respond to something.
[00:27:16] But you can still go on my site, which is milkmon.com. m I l k.
[00:27:27] All one word. And you can choose the episodes on there that you want to listen to. You don't have to listen to them in order.
[00:27:36] You can listen to any episode that you want.
[00:27:40] And we're trying to put a caption now with the title so that you'll know what's more about what that episode is. And I'm also going to go on reels on Twitter or X, as it's called now. So you might see me doing some advertising. And it's basically just to get the word out to people that, hey, there's a crazy woman that put a new podcast out.
[00:28:10] So I hope you enjoyed it like I said. And you will be getting a couple of more podcasts related to this last one coming up.
[00:28:26] Until the next time.
