Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Klemm, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarchs.
[00:00:08] So there'll be several episodes of us adjusting to being parents with our newfound adopted daughters from Romania. And I'll scatter those episodes throughout the other stories that I'm telling you. But there's a lot to be learned from those episodes, and I think all of you will get a big kick out of it.
[00:00:33] So we get back to the United States, and we're getting the girls settled in. I had downloaded a Romanian dictionary into the computer, and if the girls had a question about something, I showed them how to type. And they didn't know the American Alphabet, but there were letters that were similar to their language over there. So we managed to make that work. I don't know how. That's crazy. But like I said before, both of us had had Spanish, Craig as well, and I knew a little Italian. So we were able to kind of figure out some of the words that they were trying to ask for.
[00:01:24] So it was going okay.
[00:01:26] We had met with the school prior to us even adopting the girls and bringing them back, and so they were prepared that they were going to be coming.
[00:01:36] And they are the ones that had the English as a second language teacher. She came to our house to start out with. She was fabulous. She was fabulous. And she also met them at school, so when they started to school, they would have her there. So that. That was like a. Going to be, like a familiar face for them and somebody that they could go to. So they came in November, and they were going to start school. We all decided together in January. We thought we'd give them that, you know, six weeks adjustment, plus the kids. Kids would be out two weeks for Christmas vacation, so why not just let them get adjusted? Craig and I took a couple weeks off after we got home just to make sure that everything was going okay.
[00:02:33] One of the first things that happened, though, was so funny.
[00:02:39] So we're making breakfast, and we had eggs. We kind of knew what they liked to eat after being with them in Romania. They always ate eggs for breakfast, but they always, always had to have cucumbers, tomatoes, and black olives and cheese. Cheese of any kind. So that was really, really important to them to kind of keep something familiar for them so that they wouldn't be, you know, feeling like. Like this is strange kind of thing. So we had bought lots of fresh produce to make sure that we had that. They liked bread, so we knew we could make toast and eggs with cheese. And then the cucumbers, tomatoes, and Black olives.
[00:03:28] And then the one meal I had made pork chops the night before. And the girls had kind of liked the pork, so they want, they requested to have a pork chop with their breakfast that day. Literally, they were so thin when they got there.
[00:03:48] My mom couldn't even believe that they were 7 and 9. She said she thought they looked like they were 4 and 5. They were very thin. And so, so crack. We are all sitting down, we have all this food in front of us. And Craig looks across the table at me and he says, I think this is the first time in my life that I've had all seven items on the food pyramid at one meal. And I just cracked off laughing because it was so true. I mean, I've never had a pork chop for breakfast, although it was like having bacon.
[00:04:32] I think they also wanted cereal too. They were fascinated by cereal and I had gotten cereal. So there was cereal, toast, the veggies, the eggs for the protein, the meat. I mean, it was unbelievable.
[00:04:49] So, but they ate, they ate well. So we were happy about that. And we didn't think we were going to have a problem with meals at all.
[00:04:58] So the following week I was going to go back to work. I was a clinical instructor for a local community college. So I would take a group of students onto a medical surgical floor and I would work with them to teach them clinical skills and help them with medication. So they had to look up all the medications and make sure that they were prepared when they were taking care of their patients. They, they would get their assignment the day before.
[00:05:31] They knew what the patient's diagnosis was. And then we would work out a care plan.
[00:05:38] So I would go in at 7 o'clock in the morning and I would be done by two. And I told Craig, you stay home during the time that I go to clinical and then I'll be home and you can go to work 3 to 11. So he thought that was gonna work out great. And it was only a couple days a week. He thought he could handle it.
[00:06:02] So we were on a roll. We think we're doing really good. And it's my first day back at clinical with the students and I'm trucking along. All of a sudden I get a loud page to the front desk.
[00:06:18] Don Kleim CLINICAL Instructor please come to the front desk. I'm like, what the heck? Nobody ever paged me. So it was kind of shocking. So I get to the front desk and they hand me the phone and sure enough, it's Craig. He goes, what am I supposed to feed him for lunch.
[00:06:36] I started laughing.
[00:06:38] Well, it is true. We never really talked about it. So I said, just give him a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. Every kid loves grilled cheese and tomato soup. Try that. So he says, okay, that sounds like a good plan. I go back out onto the floor, still working with the students, and it's about 30 minutes later and I get another loud page, Don Clown, please come to the front desk. So now I'm thinking, oh, what? What could possibly have gone wrong with the grilled cheese and tomato soup? Right? So, hello. And he's like, they hate grilled cheese and tomato soup. Do you have any other suggestions?
[00:07:23] I am dying. So I'm like, well, you know, they like eggs and cheese. Why don't you try that? So he tried that and that seemed to go well because I did not hear back from him.
[00:07:35] But those were some of the struggles that we started out with. And when I look back, it's so funny.
[00:07:43] So the. I stayed home with them quite often, more than Craig, which is fine. And I had all these magazines. I really, really love house design. I've always really loved it. And it's so funny because every time I take like an IQ test, one of those IQ tests that comes across your email, every single time I take it, it says, you should be an architect. And I always think, yeah, probably I should have been. I think I might have liked that. But I do love to decorate my house. So I always had a ton of magazines and I still do to this day. So I would sit on the couch with the girls and we would look at all the pictures of the magazines and all the houses and everything.
[00:08:32] We had a back deck and I would set the picnic table up like it was a little school. So the youngest me was always the student and. And of course G was always the teacher. She's definitely the bossy older sister, believe me. And she started out that way from the very first day I met her. So they would play back on the back deck for hours.
[00:09:03] Then I decided, well, I'll put them in the car and I'll just drive them around the area so they can see what it's like.
[00:09:12] So then I started taking them over by where the school was. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought they might. I was trying to get them familiar with this is what's going to happen. This is where you're going to be going kind of thing. La Scuella they call it now. Doesn't that sound like Spanish? It definitely does.
[00:09:33] So I would bring them over there and they would see the school and, you know, they were so excited about going to school. They wanted to be with kids their own age, which, who could blame them?
[00:09:46] So finally December came, and they had been here for three weeks, and they definitely made it known to me that they were ready to go to school. Now I'm like, oh, boy. So I called up the principal and I said, they really want to go to school. And you know what? I wouldn't. I don't think it would be so bad. They don't have to really do that much. You're only going to be in school for a couple weeks before Christmas vacation. What do you think about me just letting them come in to school to get to know their classrooms and everything? Well, she didn't think it was a bad idea. And she knew that we had had the English as a second language teacher at our house a lot, so she thought, okay, let's give it a try and just see how it goes, you know, no harm, no foul, no foul, no harm. So that's what we were going to do.
[00:10:45] So I brought them the first day. I'll never forget it.
[00:10:52] We probably had about 2ft of snow on the ground, something that they're not used to because Romania, the climate there is very similar to Virginia, so milder weather and not a lot of snow. So they were excited about the snow, I think.
[00:11:16] They didn't have coats when they first got here, so I decided to take them into Macy's. Big mistake. And I said, you can pick out any coat you want.
[00:11:29] Yep, I did that. What was I thinking?
[00:11:34] Inexperienced Mama.
[00:11:37] They both came running back with light pink coats, and the youngest one picked out a fuzzy pink hat. That was so cute. It was adorable. And those are the coats they wanted. I couldn't talk them into any other coat. They had to have those light pink coats.
[00:11:55] So I'm like, okay.
[00:11:58] Needless to say, those light pink coats were never cleaned. Even if I washed them five times during the week, they still were dirty by the end of the day. Why wouldn't they be? Their kids, okay, so they got their light pink coats on. They've got their blue on or blue jeans. And the youngest one had gotten a pair of patent leather shoes to wear with her good dresses. She wanted her patent leather shoes.
[00:12:31] I go, no, you can wear your boots. No, she was not having it.
[00:12:36] So there she goes to school on her first day in two feet of snow with patent leather shoes on. And there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I Think everyone just looked at me. I mean, my hair probably wasn't combed. I was a disheveled mess trying to figure out how to manage these two. Two little rugrats. I mean, they were. They were quite busy, let me tell you.
[00:13:04] But I. I remember dropping her off with the teacher and saying, I'm really, really sorry. I tried so hard to get those shoes off her feet and put boots on, but she just wasn't having it. So she says, okay. I said, she gets a little wound up, so if she starts to get wound up, please call me and I'll just zip right over here and pick her up. So she says, okay. So about noon time, I get a call from the teacher. Now, this is the youngest. She says, I think she's getting wound up. I think she's gonna punch someone if you don't get over here. I'm like, oh, no.
[00:13:42] Well, it must have been so frustrating. Nobody could speak English to a Romanian and they didn't understand English. And I think the kids were. Were so excited to have them in there, but she didn't understand that. So they were all get, like hovering around her. And she does not like that. And to this day, she does not like that.
[00:14:10] So she was gonna wind her. Wind up her arm and give him a punch. So I go running over there, I get her home.
[00:14:19] And the thing about the youngest one is she always wanted me to carry her. So I carried her around the house for months.
[00:14:27] And I was like her security blanket. And. And it's fine. It was fine. It all worked its way out. I mean, I think my back is stronger because of it. Right?
[00:14:42] So they'd been in there about a week, and they're. They're telling them they're going to be having a winter pageant. A. And the girls are so excited. They're going to be singing songs and they're going to. They're teaching them how to do a dance.
[00:15:01] And so they come home and all the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I had to have the English as a Second Language teacher tell me they're having a pageant. They're going to be getting dressed up, they're going to be singing songs, and they're very excited about it. So I'm like, okay, this is good, very good.
[00:15:25] So she says, it's not your typical Christmas holiday party. I go, what? She says, yes, we try to be inclusive here. Now remember, this is 2002, okay? When you think about where we're at in the United States now, this is 22 years ago, and this was happening in Maine.
[00:15:51] She says, we're going to be doing a holiday sing along, but it's not going to be any Christmas music at all. As a matter of fact, they're going to be singing I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy. I go, what? She says, yes. And they'll be wearing red, white, and blue that day. I go, it's not the Fourth of July. They said, no, it's not. But this is how we're gonna do it here because we want to be all inclusive. So I'm like, okay, whatever.
[00:16:27] So the night before the pageant, we had a huge snowstorm.
[00:16:35] It must have been at least three feet. We lived out in the country there. And our driveway, it looked like Craig had to get out there and snow blow it. And it looked like a wall of snow.
[00:16:49] And they're both out there in the driveway. They both got their patent leather shoes on, a little navy blue skirt, a little red vest, a blue kerchief around their neck and white blouse. And the oldest one, G, is singing at the top of her lungs in a strong Romanian accent, I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
[00:17:20] And I just looked at Craig and I'm like, where in the heck are we? So you got this Romanian girl, barely speaks any English at all, in the middle of the winter, right before Christmas, doing a dance in the driveway, singing I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
[00:17:43] This doesn't happen.
[00:17:46] So we made it through that, and the girls were really happy that they started back to school, and the teachers really loved them and it was a good thing for everyone. And Craig didn't have to worry about making them grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup.
[00:18:07] They were home for winter break, and we had decided we had so much stuff from that shower from my colleagues at the hospital that we didn't really have to buy them anything.
[00:18:25] So we put the big Christmas tree up in our family room and. And it was so funny. I wanted them to feel at home. So I saved in a big tub, Christmas cards from that I had gotten previously for years, really.
[00:18:47] And the girls went through the tub and they hung a ton of Christmas cards.
[00:18:55] If they like the picture, they would hang them on the tree.
[00:19:00] And then the oldest one went outside and she cut down all these branches, pine branches. Maine has a lot of white pine there. So she went around and she cut out, cut down a lot of these branches off from the tree. They were low to the ground. And then she made, like, wreaths to go all across the deck. Not really Wreaths, but like a rope kind of thing. And then she brought him in the house and she put them over every door. And Craig and I are like, what the heck? But we let her do it because we didn't really know. Maybe that was a custom over there. We just let her kind of go free doing what she wanted to do.
[00:19:47] So that was good.
[00:19:49] I made a big.
[00:19:52] Well, we had the gifts, so. And we had the stockings up. On December 5th, every year they celebrate St Nicholas Day. So they had told us that already from the adoption agency. And with that you put your shoes by the fireplace and they put candy in the shoes. So we had already done that. And we were trying to tell them about Christmas, but I don't think they really got it. They had had Christmas over there, but like for Christmas what they got was like orange soda and Coca Cola, like a big 2 liter, oranges and some candy under the tree. They didn't really get gifts like we do. Like we go crazy in America, right? So we had that stuff from the shower. And so I said the, the adoption agency always cautioned us not to give them too much too fast. So I said we're not going to buy any gifts. Let's just dole some of these things out that we've already gotten. And we put a chair on either side of the tree. And one chair we put all the things we were given the oldest and the other chair we gave all the things that we were going to give to the youngest. And Craig and I were ecstatic. We could not wait for Christmas. We thought it was going to be incredible. Right? We thought they were going to be so excited. Well, they didn't really understand that. They didn't. And why would they? I don't know. We had such unrealistic expectations, Craig and I. But anyhow, they slept until 9:00 in the morning and we just had visions that they were going to be up sooner, but they were not. And so we brought them down and we brought them to each one of their chairs where all their gifts were. And they did end up having a really great Christmas. They were so happy with everything and we didn't have to go all out. So it worked out really well. Let me just say on a side note that they never slept in again when the next Christmas came. The youngest one was always up by 5am all the way up, even through high school. She loves Christmas. She just absolutely loves it. Loves getting the gifts, loves giving. She's a big giver. And so that first Christmas was kind of a Disappointment because we had to wake him up, but we also understood why.
[00:22:37] So the first couple months of with the girls was a challenge in so many ways, not just from the school system. That was a whole new thing. You know, you're thinking about what your education was like when you grew up. Nothing like that. Okay. So we had that part to deal with. We had the language part to deal with, and we had the part that they didn't understand our customs yet. And we're trying to, you know, not be so strict and trying to go with the flow so that they felt comfortable with us and that it was going to be an easier transition.
[00:23:28] So you'll be hearing a couple more stories and I hope you enjoyed this one.
[00:23:36] It. It was quite an amazing situation those first two months in the adjustment phase, but we did get there. And the other thing is, we had a golden retriever dog and they wanted to know why the dog was in the house. They just did not like the idea of a dog being in the house. Their dogs there, they had a dog over there named Poofy and the dog was always outdoors. Well, the weather's a lot different here too, so. But they didn't understand that and they didn't think dogs should be in the house. But they all got adjusted, including Annie the dog.
[00:24:20] And all became great friends. It was just those little kind of things that were an adjustment.
[00:24:28] So stay tuned for more stories about adoption. I think this might be enlightening to some people.
[00:24:38] And thank you for listening to my story today. I hope you enjoyed it.
[00:24:48] If you have a story that you would like to share, of course, you know, by now you can go on my website, milkmon.com m I l k m o n all one word.com leave a comment on the bottom and a contact, either phone number or email where I can get back to you. And I will call you or email you and we can have a discussion about what you would like to share. Anything that you want to share about, let's say, a situation that happened to you that you think people would enjoy listening to, or if you have something that you want to about, please feel free to contact me. I think it's such a good idea to have as many voices on here as I can. And I'm definitely, once I get worked out with the attorney, will be a lot more flexible and I can even start to travel a little bit. So maybe I can come to you to get the story. So that would be great too.
[00:26:02] Until the next time.
