Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Hi, everyone. This is Dawn Clem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and monarchs. Today I'm going to be sharing a story of an event that I participated in in San Diego that is one of the happiest memories of my life. And so I hope you enjoy the story.
[00:00:22] But let me just start out by saying, first of all, something that I've told you many, many times, and that is that I'm not very athletic.
[00:00:32] I remember being in the backyard with my mom, and she was trying to teach me how to do a cartwheel. For those of you that know how my mom was, then you'll appreciate the story, because she was not very encouraging. She was really one of those that would laugh at other people's misery. So I was not the most coordinated thing in the most coordinated kid in the neighborhood. And so she laughed hysterically at me learning how to do a cartwheel. Eventually, I did learn how to do a cartwheel, but her cynicism really kind of held me back, maybe from trying more things that I maybe should have tried.
[00:01:28] She did put me in dance class, and my father was completely dismayed because I was so uncoordinated. I think I did ballet lessons for two years, and he's like, please don't torture her any further. So that should tell you something. By the time I got into high school, I really was not gonna try out for, for any kind of sports. But I did become a cheerleader. And I was a cheerleader for, I think, three years, two to three years, and I did enjoy being a cheerleader. I think I could have maybe done cross country or maybe even track, because later on in my forties and fifties, I used to run five ks in Maine. I think I'm better at sports where I'm challenging myself and not necessarily being in competition with somebody else. I'm not very good at that. I just am so self conscious because I already know that I'm pretty uncoordinated. So I'm telling you all of this because the one thing I can do, and I still do, is ride my bike. I absolutely love riding a bike. My dad bought me a bike for my birthday, and I think I was in the third or fourth grade. It was a purple Schwinn bike, which I absolutely loved. And I had it all the way up until I went into high school.
[00:03:06] And I remember when I was in middle school, my brother and a good friend of mine would ride our bike from Hillsdale to Asio. ASIO is where my cousins lived. And so I would ride my bike over there with them. Now, that was at a time when you didn't have gears to shift up and down, so you're just riding up and down the hills. And we didn't think anything of it. And it actually is a five mile bike ride from Hillsdale to ASIO. So we were young, we had a great time, and we didn't think anything of, you know, the hills at that time. So flash forward.
[00:03:51] I'm living in San Diego now, and I did buy a bike, and I used my bike, the first bike, I just absolutely loved that bike. And I think I had it for about six months, and it got stolen off my little back porch in San Diego. Oh, I was so bummed out about that.
[00:04:11] But then I ended up buying another bike. That was not as good in my estimation. But I still like my bike. And as you know, I had been walking all over San Diego, so it was kind of freedom to have my bike. Well, there's an event out there. I don't know if they're having it any longer. I tried to look online and it looks like maybe the last time was in 2019.
[00:04:38] And I'm thinking maybe that's because Covid came in the following year. I don't know, but that would be a shame if it got ruined because of that. But at any rate, the event is the tecotte, Mexico to Ensenada, Mexico bike ride. It's a 73 miles bike ride, and you go through the foothills and the elevation is as high as 4000ft at a couple of points there. So it's quite the journey. And it's really hot and desert like, too. So I was married at the time to my ex husband, and my ex husband was an athlete, so that's probably why we're divorced, right? You can see that already.
[00:05:32] An athlete married, a non athlete, not a good mixed. But he was all pumped up about doing this bike ride, and I was like, yeah, this is something I can do. So I was excited, too.
[00:05:46] So he thought that I needed to be prepped in order to be ready for this bike ride. So about a week before the bike ride was to take place, he said, I took the afternoon off, and I'm going to take you on a preparatory bike ride so that you're prepared when we do the Takati to Ensenada bike ride. So I'm like, okay, now, the thing about my ex husband is he was not very communicative. And I'm somebody who likes to know all the details right up front. Like, where are we going? How long is this gonna take. Are there gonna be any hills there? Can you imagine? I think I have anxiety about doing any kind of sporting event or anything with competition, anything where I'm gonna stick out or look like a complete fool.
[00:06:50] And so I like to know the details upfront so I can kind of minimize the embarrassment for myself. So I'm kind of asking him all those, oh, you're gonna be fine. Oh, nothing to worry about, you know, no communication up front about what he's about to put me through. Right.
[00:07:11] But I go, yeah, I do need to train a little bit, because I knew that bike ride was 73 miles, and I was already having a little angst about that. I mean, the most I ever really rode, I think I rode 17 miles from the community college where I was taking classes back into the city in San Diego, and that didn't seem to bother me. But it wasn't in the foothills, so there was no real elevation there. And I managed to do that pretty well, though. So I think 20 miles, I was probably pretty good 73. I mean, you gotta, you gotta know that that's gonna take something a little bit more than the 17 miles.
[00:08:00] So we get in the car, we got our bikes, we get out there, we park in the parking lot. It's like a public parking lot. And we start riding our bikes, right?
[00:08:14] And there's these gigantic hills, like, what the heck? And we're going up and down and all around, and, oh, my lord.
[00:08:28] It was just unbelievable.
[00:08:31] And he was always, he is not someone that's going to ride with you. He's a competitor. He's an athlete, so he always wants to be in the lead. And in the lead he was. And he didn't look back to see, how are you doing? Keep going. You're doing a good job. None of that. That is not how he was. He was, you know, the taskmaster, and I needed to follow suit, and so I kept going.
[00:09:06] It ended up to be a four hour training, which I will never forget. Actually, later on, when I looked back, I thought the four hour training was worse than the takati to ensenada bike ride. It was just horrific. And I'm sure some of it was really just the lack of communication, the lack of encouragement, all of that. But we finally get to the end of 4 hours out there, riding our bikes around, and he says, I'm going to ride back to the car, and then I'll meet you at home kind of thing. We're not that far from the apartment, and I'm like, well, you better have a bath drawn for me, a hot bath, and I want pizza for dinner. I figured at least I got to get some reward. This whole thing, he's like, okay, no problem.
[00:10:09] So I finished. I managed to finish up writing. I managed to get back to the apartment. He did have a hot bath drawn for me, and he actually had ordered a pizza. So things were looking up. And I get out of the bathtub and I'm sitting down at the table with him and I go, well, how long was that bike ride anyway? He goes, 50 miles. 50 miles? I said, are you crazy? You couldn't tell me that up front?
[00:10:41] I was just like, oh, my lord, this is insane. This is what I'm talking about. He just didn't communicate the details. Something that just drove me nuts. This was a standing, standing issue between us. Okay. Like I said, you can probably see why we have parted our ways.
[00:11:03] So anyhow, the day comes for the Takati to ensenada bike ride.
[00:11:13] And we get down there. It's just across the border from San Diego, and we're getting lined up and there are thousands of bikes there.
[00:11:25] I. My number was 2033, so that should tell you. And I was in the middle of the pack, so probably, I bet you there were six to 8000 bikes and there could have been even more than that. But Mike was an early. He liked to get there on time for these kind of events. So we were there it pretty, pretty early into the game, so there could have been even more than that. And I just, I was in a state of panic myself. The only good thing about the event is, I mean, I can ride a bike. I rode 50 miles and I did fine. You know what I mean?
[00:12:13] So I'm like, okay, yeah, this is good. So we're all lined up. The gun goes off, like every race out there. And there he goes. I never saw him again until the end of the race. Okay, now, maybe this is another reason why I have anxiety, but he's an athlete, he's a competitor. So I'm going to be left in the dust, and it's up to me to make my own way through this race. I'm like, all right, I can handle it. So I'm not trying to speed. My goal is to finish. Okay, I just want to finish the event. So I'm riding along and the first couple hours really seemed to just go by so quickly. It was a beautiful day. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect day to ride your bike. It was just spectacular. And so we're riding along and, you know, a lot of people are riding with me, and we're all talking and chatting, and we're having a great time. The competitors have, you know, long gone, but the people that are just going it to do it as a goal and to actually feel good about something, completing something like this were kind of hanging out with me. So we're about 4 hours into it, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm so hot. I mean, I had my water on the bike, but it just was not doing it. So I started to look around and see, well, we've been going through little towns along the way, you know, not much there.
[00:14:04] And all of a sudden I look to the left and there's like a package store or what they would call a liquor store.
[00:14:13] And I'm like, God, a beer would be really good right now. And everybody riding next to me is like, yeah, what a great idea. So the next thing you know, we turn into this package store. There's like eight of us. Eight of us. I didn't know any of them. Okay. We were all friends for that bike ride. And we all go in and we get a corona beer, and we have our bikes parked up against the building. And then all of us sat on the ground next to our bike and drank our beer and just watched the bikers go by us. We were all cheering them and saluting them. I mean, it was fantastic. We absolutely had so much fun just grabbing a beer in the middle of a race like that. And we get our beers done, and we all get back on our bikes and we all go right at it again.
[00:15:13] And for four more hours, I rode my bike. So when I crossed the finish line and takati and Sonata. Sorry, it was just a little over 8 hours. And I thought, well, if I hadn't sat down and had that beer right, I would have been there in probably seven and a half, or maybe even a little less than seven and a half hours that I rode across the finish line. And guess what? There was my ex husband, and there was my whole group of friends down there to cheer me on. And they were all so happy that I had finished the race. And really, so was I. I was ecstatic about it. And it was just such a wonderful event to participate in. Everybody felt so good about it, and we were all just so happy that we were able to complete it. And we all went out for a big mexican dinner down there, and we. It was just a time of celebration. And I never really even thought about the fact that I rode by myself because I never felt like I was riding by myself. I felt like I made a whole bunch of new friends that day.
[00:16:40] I had not thought about this bike race for a really long time.
[00:16:48] Didn't even cross my mind, really.
[00:16:52] But I had gotten phone call. Well, not really a phone call.
[00:16:58] Facebook messenger, message from my ex husband out of the blue.
[00:17:05] And I was like, wow, you know. Well, he had just been in San Diego.
[00:17:14] His son is traveling the country. He's on an international soccer team, and he's been doing really well. And so they had been out in San Diego. Well, I. We were married when we lived in San Diego, so there's no way he couldn't think about me while he was out there. It would be impossible. Just like, if I go out there, I think about him, because that's where I started my life with him. It's just one of those things. You can't erase the memories or the life that you started. You just can't.
[00:17:50] So, anyhow, while we're talking, he said, hey, I found some pictures of you. I think you might want to have them. And I said, yeah, yes, I definitely want to have them. And I still have our photo album from blah, blah, blah.
[00:18:12] I suppose you would like those. And he said, yes, I would love to get my photo album back. So we decided to exchange addresses, and then he sent me the box of pictures.
[00:18:27] So when the box of pictures came, I was kind of excited. I mean, what was it? It's been so long. I've been married to my current husband for 30 years, so it's been a long time.
[00:18:41] So I open up the box, and sure enough, there were pictures in there that I am so glad I got back. One of them was a picture of me kissing my brother on the cheek and hugging him. And he's gone now. So to have look at that picture and have that memory again, that was. That was so great for me.
[00:19:07] But the bigger thing was, at the bottom of that box was the takati to Ensenada bike ride ticket that I had to wear with my number on it when I was riding that event. And it has my name on the back of it.
[00:19:29] And all those memories, all of them just came flooding back to me about riding my bike down there, sitting out front of that package store, drinking a corona, and finishing that bike ride. And it was just such a great memory. It was fantastic. And I'm so, so glad that we exchanged addresses so that we could send each other back our memories.
[00:20:04] And it was good closure, too. Like the end of an erade, you know what I mean? He finally put the closure on it. Even though I've been married to my husband, my current husband, for so long now, and I don't really think about him, it was just time to put all that to bed and not leave it open ended.
[00:20:30] I hope you enjoyed my story.
[00:20:33] It really brought back so many positive feelings for me about, you know, riding my bike and just talk and just being in a big event like that. It was just an amazing, amazing time.
[00:20:54] I've been working on my studio, and I'm working with a marketer now for other things. For my podcast. We're planning on going live on YouTube. So when I start to interview people, they'll actually be on YouTube with me, and that's going to be amazing, too. So I think there'll be YouTube interviews, and then they'll just be me in between telling stories of amazing events that I've participated in or ordinary people who became extraordinary.
[00:21:37] And it's been a journey, it's been a process, but it's been amazing for me, and I hope it's been amazing for you, too.
[00:21:53] Until the next time.
