Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi everyone, this is Dawn Klem and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarchs.
[00:00:09] Today I'm going to talk about a blast from the past.
[00:00:13] Not like any of my stories aren't a blast from the past, but this one is in relation to. I had my 50 year high school reunion last summer.
[00:00:27] And so I'm going to tell you a story that I got from one of my classmates. And it's just kind of made me smile ever since, you know.
[00:00:40] So let me just flash back to when I was in first grade.
[00:00:45] So we went to first grade and that was the first time I think I ever really thought about a boy in my life, you know, and we had, there was a young man in class with me when his name is John, and his dad and my dad were very good friends.
[00:01:07] And so I'm sure they had, you know, mentioned that their kids were going to be in first grade together.
[00:01:15] And he was really smart and I was really smart.
[00:01:19] And they broke our class up into sections.
[00:01:23] So like the number ones were the, the kids that were good readers, good in math, you know, a little bit more smarter than the other kids, just for lack of a better way to frame this. And then the second group were middle, middle students. So they weren't going to be a students, but they weren't going to be failing or falling behind either. And then the third group, or group number three were all students that needed a little extra help. And a lot of times the teacher would have group number one help the kids in group number three. So it was, it actually was a good idea because they were being helped by their peers and both of us were in group number one.
[00:02:12] So I, I was, he was really the first boy that I think I had a crush on that I thought, oh, he's so smart. He's so, you know, we had a lot in common. I thought he was great.
[00:02:25] He lived in the neighborhood just around the corner from me, so you had to walk by my house to keep going on to get to his neighborhood.
[00:02:38] And so that was kind of a big deal too, because I knew I was always going to see him on the way to school or the way home from school.
[00:02:47] So I had kind of gotten a little crush going on in my own mind. And I remember my mom laughing at me hysterically, which is not unusual. My mother loved, delighted in my awkwardness, trust me, she really did. And I think she was kind of thought it was kind of cute. I mean, we're in first grade and I already thought that I was going to have a boyfriend. I thought that he was just so cute.
[00:03:14] And, you know, I really had like a mad crush on him. And I had been talking to my mom about him.
[00:03:24] I didn't know if he felt that way about me or not. I had no real understanding.
[00:03:30] Pretty. Pretty clueless at that age. But I sure know that my heart went pitter patter when I saw him.
[00:03:39] So I talked about him for weeks, maybe even into the first couple months of first grade.
[00:03:46] And then one day I saw him walking home with another girl.
[00:03:53] I'll never forget it.
[00:03:55] I mean, the other woman is a very good friend of mine now.
[00:04:00] And so. But at the time, I don't think she even knows. I don't think she even has an idea.
[00:04:06] But I saw him walk by my front door and I threw an absolute meltdown. I actually remember throwing like a major temper tantrum and throwing things. And my mom was laughing hysterically. When first she was like, what's the matter with you? He's walking home with Ginger. How could that be happening?
[00:04:30] That kind of thing.
[00:04:32] And I was so upset. I was really upset. And my mom was laughing.
[00:04:39] And so that. That made it even worse. That really made it even worse.
[00:04:44] But I remember on that day, that was the end for me of thinking about him as my boyfriend.
[00:04:52] So ridiculous. You're in the first grade.
[00:04:56] All these emotions, all these feelings. I mean, when I look back on it now, I just crack up and think, what in the world, Dawn? What is going on with you?
[00:05:10] So anyway, you know, we went to middle school together, we went to high school together, we graduated together, and I really never gave him another thought after that.
[00:05:25] I had a boyfriend in high school.
[00:05:28] I got out of high school, and the first year I didn't do anything but work to save up money. And then I went and joined the Navy. I went to college for a year, and then I joined the Navy. So I have been away for a very long time from my hometown.
[00:05:50] I have lived all over the country. I lived in California, I've lived in Massachusetts, a couple places in Massachusetts, including Cape Cod.
[00:06:01] And then I lived in Portland, Maine.
[00:06:05] And then eventually I. I met my husband, now my husband, who I've been married to for 33 years.
[00:06:13] So about maybe 15 years ago, I started hearing from my friends and my brother, my brother was telling me a lot because John became an eye doctor.
[00:06:33] So he opened practice up in Hillsdale, and he still actually works as an eye doctor, which is a very noble. And it's kind of great because he became an eye doctor and I became a nurse. Which is kind of cool. You know what I mean?
[00:06:48] So, anyhow, I started hearing that people would go in for an. An eye exam, and he would be talking about me. I'm like, huh? What? Really?
[00:06:59] That's so interesting to me, because I really. I guess I just moved on from the first grade.
[00:07:07] It's so silly.
[00:07:09] So. But my brother said, every time I go in, he always asks about you. I go, well, we went through school. We went all the way through school together, you know, we were always in the same class together, you know, and he's such a great person. He's like the most wonderful person. He went on and went to college at Central. He ended up telling me.
[00:07:33] So anyhow, I came down for our 35th high school reunion, and somebody was telling me that he had been asking for me. I'm like, really?
[00:07:46] This is, you know, this is great. I'm gonna get this over with once and for all. So I actually did walk into a room where he just happened to be standing.
[00:07:56] And so I went right over to him, and he's like, dawn, there you are. And it's so funny. I mean, I've always been short.
[00:08:05] There has never been any progression in me growing. I think the most I've ever grown in my life was in the sixth grade when I went from 4ft 7 to 4ft 11 inches. And I remember the teacher was like, oh, my gosh, dawn, you had a growth spurt. But really, did I. 4ft 11.
[00:08:27] I ended up being 5, 5 foot 1. And of course, you know, I'm older now, so I'm shrinking back down to five feet. Probably five feet and a half, maybe five feet one. I like to tell everybody I'm close to five two, but it's probably not true.
[00:08:42] So, anyhow, he was so tall. That's what I'm trying to say. He was tall, and I was still short, but he definitely recognized me right away.
[00:08:54] And he was there with his wife. And guess what? She's really tall, too.
[00:08:58] So that was kind of funny for me, too. But anyhow, he introduced me to his wife, who is a lovely person, and I'm really so glad I got to meet her. My husband was not with me, but I got to talk to him for a few minutes, and it was just so good to catch up with him, you know? I don't know if he ever continued to ask people about me, because now he's seen me, right? So it was the 35th high school reunion, and it was great, and I was so glad I got to see him.
[00:09:36] It's so funny. I was still living in Maine at that time. I was not back home yet for our 35th wedding anniversary. Not wedding anniversary, high school reunion.
[00:09:50] When I think we were getting to the point of thinking about moving back, but we hadn't quite made it here yet.
[00:09:58] And so in the meantime, I just went on with my life, and he went on with his life, and everything is good.
[00:10:08] You're not really thinking about too much of anything.
[00:10:12] We ended up moving back to Michigan.
[00:10:16] Same old story.
[00:10:19] Working, working all the time, going to graduate school, adopting children. I feel like I filled up so much space in my 40s that it was absolutely ludicrous, the things that I did. And I'm like, what? Did you ever breathe? Did you. Did you ever take a second to even take a breath?
[00:10:43] You know, why.
[00:10:45] Why did I feel the need to push myself so much? I think that's the one thing I think about when I look back on my life now. I think, wow, what in the world? Dawn, you went to graduate school. You started a new job in oncology. You went through in vitro three times. Then you decided to adopt two foreign children.
[00:11:11] During that time, my grandma died, so I had to go back to Michigan to say goodbye to my grandma. I'm taking two little girls that barely speak English back with me to a funeral.
[00:11:26] You know, I mean, it just goes on and on. I was in graduate school, but I decided that I had gotten into a program for associate degree. Nurses could go right into their master's degree, and that never really set well with me. So in the middle of getting my master's degree, I decided to get my bachelor's degree.
[00:11:53] If you know me at all, that makes perfect sense to you, because I'm not somebody that likes to skip anything. I like to have a solid process.
[00:12:05] And so in the middle of getting my master's degree, I think I had two classes left for my master's degree. I had classes to take for a bachelor's degree, so I did end up getting my bachelor's degree. I think I actually got my bachelor's degree first. I got my bachelor's degree degree in 2002, and then I graduated from clinical nurse specialist school in 2004.
[00:12:31] And that's the other thing I did. I went all the way through nurse practitioner school.
[00:12:37] I got to the part where I just needed to do three semesters of clinical rotations following a physician in the office, and I had started following an ob GYN physician and doing annual pap smear exams. And I'm like, oh, My God, no. This is not for me.
[00:13:00] I do not want to be a nurse practitioner. I think part of it is, too. I had taken my advanced pharmacology class.
[00:13:09] We had one pharmacology class. One. Okay, I did take pharmacology in my undergraduate class.
[00:13:20] Not. Not for my bachelor's degree. For my associate degree class, we took a pharmacology class. But that was so basic because that's an associate degree. But for graduate school, I took an advanced pharmacology, advanced pathophysiology, advanced anatomy, and the pharmacology class. I absolutely hated it. I did hate it. I feel like I probably should have taken that class again. I passed. I definitely passed, but the problem is that did I retain it? You know what I mean?
[00:13:56] So when I got started doing my clinical rotation for a nurse practitioner, I'm like, I don't know how to. I don't want to be responsible for prescribing medication.
[00:14:09] I just didn't feel like I knew enough about pharmacology to be able to prescribe different antibiotics, blood pressure pills. They're all like, oh, you'll get that on the job training. The physicians will work with you. But I'm like, no, that just didn't sit well with me. So in the middle two semesters away from graduating, I decide I'm going to be a clinical nurse specialist.
[00:14:39] And really, that's more about education and more like the navigator role that I ended up being at the end of my career.
[00:14:46] It really did suit me to switch, and I was really, really happy.
[00:14:52] So all of that happened, and then three years later, we decided to move back to Michigan.
[00:15:01] So I had so much going on during all of that time, and I wonder to myself, how did you manage all that? I look back on myself and I think, wow, you're crazy.
[00:15:13] You are absolutely crazy. What are you doing all this stuff for?
[00:15:17] I don't regret the advanced degree in nursing because I know I really did make a difference. I learned so much. I really learned so much, and I was able to help a lot of patients, but I don't think I needed all the other ancillary things that I was doing. Like, why was I going through in vitro? That was one of the worst experiences of my life. I regret that so much. I really, really regret it.
[00:15:42] I know women are going to hear this and think, dawn, that's a terrible thing to say. And maybe it is for you, but not for me. I mean, I. I've never been able to really lose the weight since then, and I Think I became a little bit more erratic or emotional. Not that I. When you hear the story, it doesn't seem like that. If I'm throwing a temper tantrum in the first grade, maybe I was already like that. But then you put hormones on top of it, maybe I was even worse. Right.
[00:16:13] So there's just, just too much going on. But I was so happy to move back to Michigan.
[00:16:23] And this year we got to our 50 year high school reunion. Actually it was last summer about a year ago.
[00:16:32] And I'm like, okay, this is good. I'm gonna see people I haven't seen in a really long time. I hadn't been to really another reunion since the 35th reunion. And I really wanted to see all my friends, wanted to see people that I hadn't seen in a long time. And I was really looking forward to it. And I actually got involved with the planning committee and everything else, which was still really good for me. That was so good for me.
[00:17:01] You see how personalities have developed over the years.
[00:17:06] I think, I think I am a little bit, maybe calmer now, been through so much that I'm a little bit more laid back about things.
[00:17:16] And when problems came up during the planning committee, didn't really get too wound up about it. I figured it's all going to work its way out.
[00:17:27] So it was good for me to say that maybe I had finally made progress. I had to get in my 60s, really. I had to get my 60s to calm down. But I did and I have.
[00:17:42] And for that reason I'm grateful.
[00:17:45] So I. We had a two day set up. The first evening was going to be a mingle in kind of like a local pub type setting.
[00:17:57] And you people didn't have to come to that if they didn't want to, but you could. It was like a preliminary view of what the next night was going to be like.
[00:18:10] And so I was kind of excited to go to that.
[00:18:12] And I got to see a lot of my friends there right out of the gate. So that was really good. I had a really good time catching up.
[00:18:21] I had a lot of talking in me. I could really introduce my husband because he hasn't really been around here very much at all. So that was really good too.
[00:18:31] Now they're going to see who I am as a whole, who my husband is, what I've done in my life, you know what I mean? And it was kind of fun.
[00:18:40] The mingle was really good.
[00:18:42] And we got there, I think we got there around 7:30 and we stayed till 10. So it was Not a problem.
[00:18:49] And before that, one of our really good friends and her husband had invited us to her house for dinner. So there were, like, three couples. Three or four couples there.
[00:19:01] And that was really fun, too. So we were kind of relaxed before we went into the mingle.
[00:19:07] And this is so ridiculous. After all these years, we're from a small town. I was still really nervous to go in there. I don't know what my problem is. What do I have to be nervous about?
[00:19:21] You know, I've lived a good life. I've. I've done the best I could. I don't think I have anything to be nervous about.
[00:19:28] Of course, you always worry about the way you look, but, hey, we're old.
[00:19:32] Face it, dawn, we're not getting any younger. And so, you know, all those things were like butterflies in my stomach just trying to figure out, am I going to be okay? Are people going to remember who I am? Well, you know, the one thing that I do have is that I'm short.
[00:19:48] So everybody knows who I am. There's no doubt about it. I'm not the only short one. I'm happy to announce there are plenty of other short people in my class. And so that makes me feel a little better that I'm not going in there as the only short woman. But I will say that the group of friends that I hang around with, they're all significantly taller than me. If you think I'm about five foot one, maybe and a half. I mean, I think the next closest person to me is probably 5, 5, 5. So they're at least 4 inches taller than me already.
[00:20:27] And most of my friends are tall. They're like 5, 8, 5, 9, 5, 10.
[00:20:34] And I'm. Yes, a shrimp. Okay.
[00:20:38] So I was.
[00:20:40] They all knew who I was, and I struggled a little bit with some of them, I have to be honest. But it was still so much fun.
[00:20:49] So, anyhow, the next night came, and we were having a dinner, and we would have music. We had a disc jockey, and.
[00:20:59] And we had a couple kegs of beer, and it was at the American Legion. And the water, it's right on the water. It was a beautiful day, but it was extremely hot. And you put a bunch of people in a room that's kind of small.
[00:21:14] It was stifling, I have to be honest.
[00:21:18] So I'm like, okay, you know, I talked to a few people. I made the rounds, trying to make sure I was talking to all my friends that I hadn't seen in a long time, and everything's going well. And by now, I finally make it over to the other side of the room. I felt like I stayed on one side of the room. And I finally made the effort to walk to the other side of the room.
[00:21:43] And sure enough, who's there? John. John is there with his wife, Jill.
[00:21:49] And I'm like. And right away he says, oh, Don. And he stands up and gives me a big hug, you know, And I give. I go, where's your wife? And go, right here. And she stands up, I give her a big hug. Very happy to see both of them again.
[00:22:02] Very, very happy. And he said, hey, I want to tell you a story.
[00:22:09] He said, remember when we were in first grade? I go, oh, yeah, I remember. He says, and I had a crush on you. I'm like, pretty sure I had a crush on you, you know? So we were kind of giggling about it. He said, I went home one night, and I went in my mom's room and I got in her jewelry box and I picked out a ring that I wanted to give you. Now, this is completely shocking to me.
[00:22:34] I was convinced that he walked home with Ginger, and that is who he liked. Okay? I had no idea that he was picking out a ring for me.
[00:22:46] Anyhow, he brought the ring out to his mom, and his mom was like, oh, no, that is way too expensive. He's telling me the story, you're not going to give her that ring, but let me go back in there with you, and I think I have something that maybe you could give her.
[00:23:03] So he says, okay.
[00:23:06] So he picks out the ring, he brings it out, and he wraps the ring up in a piece of aluminum foil.
[00:23:15] Only a first grader would think to do that, right?
[00:23:18] And when he was walking home from school that night, he threw the aluminum foil onto our front porch.
[00:23:27] And so when he was telling me the story, I had the biggest smile on my face. He goes, did you ever get the ring?
[00:23:34] No, John, I never got the ring. I never knew a thing about it. He goes, yeah, your parents probably threw it out. I go, they probably did.
[00:23:45] They probably really did.
[00:23:48] So, I mean, the story made my hole year, just to let you know, because it brought me right back to that time when I really was so crazy about him and come to find out, he really liked me.
[00:24:05] And it was a good ending for everyone.
[00:24:08] And even though both of us are happily married, it was such a great memory to share between the two of us.
[00:24:17] And you're so special, John and Jill, too.
[00:24:26] Thank you so much for listening to my podcast today. I hope you enjoyed it.
[00:24:32] I mean, life is so crazy how it comes back full circle like that. Don't you think?
[00:24:39] I think about it all the time now, and I just smile. It's one of those things that melts my heart.
[00:24:46] Such a great story.
[00:24:50] Until the next time.
