Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi, everyone, this is Dawn Klem, and you are on my podcast, Milkweed and Monarchs.
[00:00:08] Today, I'm going to share a story of redemption and divine intervention.
[00:00:17] I know that sounds complicated, but when you hear the story, it's going to make perfect sense to you.
[00:00:25] So if you've been listening to my podcast, you know. I was raised in a small town in Michigan, Hillsdale, Michigan.
[00:00:35] When I went into high school, I became really good friends with 12 other girls.
[00:00:48] So there were 13 of us in total to start out with. And there were a few others in there, too, that got lost along the way, moved or, you know, and we never heard of them from them again.
[00:01:03] One of them actually passed away.
[00:01:05] So that left the 12 of us.
[00:01:09] After high school graduation, we lived with each other, we passed, partied with each other, we traveled with each other, and we have been close our whole entire life.
[00:01:28] We were all from different areas. We had three different elementary schools. Then we all went to the same middle school. But when we got to high school, we all had so much in common, and we were all growing up together, and we were going to each other's houses, we were sneaking out at night at slumber parties, we were toilet papering the. The football team's campsite or members of the full football team's houses.
[00:02:08] We really were close and we had a lot of fun together. There's no doubt about it.
[00:02:16] Our junior and senior proms were exceptional.
[00:02:22] And we were just girls. Girls just want to have fun. I mean, that definitely described us, but, you know, all good things have to come to an end, right?
[00:02:37] And we all graduated from high school. Some stayed in Hillsdale, some got married and went overseas.
[00:02:48] Some, like me, joined the military. I think I might have been the only one that actually joined the military, and. And some went to college. So there were a lot of different avenues that. That each one of us took depending on our parents and what our parents were pushing us towards.
[00:03:12] So, as you know, if you've been listening, I joined the Navy after a year of college. I just couldn't afford to pay for it, and my parents weren't going to pay for it.
[00:03:25] So I ended up going into the military, into the Navy, and I was stationed in San Diego. I met my first husband there. I ended up getting married. I came back to Hillsdale to get married. Not all of my friends were there. And part of the reason is one of my other really good friends that I've known since first grade got married on the same weekend that I planned to get married. So you can see there's a lot of growth there. We're. We're moving on in our different avenues in life.
[00:04:04] And that bond that had been with us, it wasn't broken, but it was being stretched.
[00:04:13] I lived in San Diego off and on. I was in Caplific, Iceland. I was stationed in Guam with my husband, my ex husband.
[00:04:25] And I was going through a really hard time. I didn't see my parents for two years. My parents did not come to see me.
[00:04:34] I did not go to my brother's wedding. My husband would not let me fly back. He wouldn't give me the money to fly back, even though we were both working.
[00:04:45] So there was a lot of disconnect between me and. And my friend group back there, and it was hard. I did have one really good friend whose husband was in the Navy, so it seemed like it was easier for me to talk to her because she and I had also lived with her when I went to Western Michigan. So she kind of understood the military because she was living in the middle of it herself.
[00:05:12] So there was all this going on, right?
[00:05:17] And you get. You just get separated from your friends. You just get separated.
[00:05:25] So I'm moving on with my life.
[00:05:28] I think one time I tried to invite a couple of my friends to come to Maine when I was married, getting married to my current husband. And they couldn't come.
[00:05:42] But why would they come? I really hadn't remained close to anybody, really, so it wasn't. Wasn't really a stretch that people wouldn't come to my wedding.
[00:05:53] And I just kept moving on with my life. And they're all in Hillsdale moving on with their lives. And then we have the outliers, like me and other friends who don't live in Hillsdale.
[00:06:09] So we had been split apart, but I never really felt like that. I felt like we lived away, but we still knew each other to the core. And it's so funny that I'm saying this right now, because one of my friends just said to me, when they listen to my podcast, she'll say, that's just another thing I never knew about you.
[00:06:35] And my other friend said, I feel like I didn't even know you at all.
[00:06:39] And I always say to them, you know who I am to the core of my being, but you don't know the life and the experiences that I've lived through.
[00:06:52] And they go, yeah, that's kind of a good way to put it, Dawn. Yes.
[00:06:58] But what I want to say is they're all still so important to me, each and every one of them are important to me for a different reason.
[00:07:10] And that is why on our 50th birthday, I was living in Maine. We were getting ready to probably move back to Michigan.
[00:07:22] And I felt like I needed to redeem myself.
[00:07:27] I felt like I really hadn't been a very good friend.
[00:07:32] And I'm like, why haven't I been a good friend?
[00:07:35] Well, part of the reason why is I was in the beginning part when I was married to my ex husband, I was felt like I was fighting for my life, fighting for myself, fighting for my identity.
[00:07:49] And then when I finally divorced him and I started out all over again, it's just so hard to explain that to a group of people that you don't really see that often.
[00:08:00] They didn't live through my personal experiences with me. I think if I had still been living in Hillsdale, maybe they would have understood me.
[00:08:11] And my friend who lives away, who lives in Georgia, she gets it because she knows what I've been through in my life.
[00:08:20] And it's easier sometimes to talk to somebody else that moved away than it is to talk to the people that have always lived there.
[00:08:30] But anyhow, we're getting ready to turn 50 and I'm like, oh, come on, we are going to do something to celebrate this. The fact that we even made it to 50 is a miracle because we have been hellions in our life. So even in our adult lives, okay, we've had trials and tribulations and challenges and I'm like, we're gonna do something big.
[00:08:58] So I talked to my husband and I'm like, you know what? I want to get lobster and I want to ship it back to Hillsdale. He's like, what in the heck are you talking about? Yes, I want to have a party back there and I want to ship lobster from Maine back there.
[00:09:19] He's like, you've got to be kidding me.
[00:09:22] I said, lobster is really cheap right now.
[00:09:25] We're never going to be able to get it as cheap as we will now.
[00:09:30] And let me just throw out some feelers and see if we can set this up to have a party.
[00:09:41] So he's like, okay.
[00:09:43] The one thing about my husband is I don't ask for much in my life and I've worked really hard and he knows that.
[00:09:50] So when I finally do come to him with some hair brained idea like shipping lobster back for a 50th birthday party, he's pretty much on board with me because he knows it's something important.
[00:10:05] Now, remember, he doesn't really know My friends that, well, he hasn't been around them much at all, but he's like, if this is really important to you, then that's great. For me, I felt like this was my way of redeeming myself for not really being the greatest friend for the last 30 years.
[00:10:32] That's how I felt about it. So it's kind of weird that I had that in my mind, but that is how I was feeling.
[00:10:41] So I called a couple of my friends. I go, what do you think about having a 50th birthday party for all of us? We deserve it. And what do you think about maybe having it at Kathy's house, everybody? Kathy's like, yeah, that sounds great to me. And everybody else is like, really, Don? I go, I'm serious. I'm gonna ship lobster back there.
[00:11:09] So Kathy was right on board. Now, Kathy is the friend that I have known the longest.
[00:11:17] She's had friends earlier than me because she was in preschool at the college. So some of our other classmates were in there. But she's the very first person I met before I went to kindergarten. She. I was four. And she is only a month and a half older than me. So we are right around the same age.
[00:11:39] So I've known her all this time.
[00:11:42] So I called her, and she has the perfect setting for a party like this. The perfect setting. She lives out in the country.
[00:11:54] She lives in a little cul de sac area, but each house is completely secluded.
[00:12:02] She has some of the most beautiful Norway spruce pines I've ever seen. They're so old, and they're spectacular, and it's just a whole private setting. She's got a swimming pool. She's got a back deck and a patio, and it overlooks this beautiful lawn. And she's always had horses, so she's got pasture land. She's got a big barn. I mean, it's just a great place to have a party.
[00:12:31] And she agreed to have the party there. She thought it was going to be a lot of fun.
[00:12:35] So I was at work, still at Main Medical center as the bone marrow transplant coordinator. You'd think I would be working.
[00:12:45] I'm busy planning a party, so typical.
[00:12:50] And she would call me and we would figure out the guest list, because that was the one thing I wanted to make sure that our closest friends were included, including our guy friends that graduated with us, that were turning 50, and their partners, everybody's spouse. So we went through the list, and I think we came up with, like, 34, 33, 34 people that we were going to invite. So I was going to get 34 lobsters, and we were going to have them shipped directly to her house.
[00:13:29] So we were starting. They were sending out the invitations back there. I didn't have anything to do with it. They were contacting people, asking everyone, hey, do you want to come for a lobster dinner? We're gonna have this big party at Kathy's house. It's gonna be really great.
[00:13:46] And everybody was on board, and my husband was on board, too. I said, I'll fly back to Hillsdale and. And then I'll call you and we'll get it all worked out when we want to ship the lobster.
[00:14:04] Well, he was like, I think we should ship the lobster before you get back there, just to make sure that everything is okay.
[00:14:12] So he took care of the whole thing. He went down to Commercial Street. He ordered the lobster.
[00:14:20] He had it shipped to Kathy's house.
[00:14:23] The lobster came. Kathy had that big swimming pool. She's like. And I think it was like, two. A day or two before the party was. And she's like, dawn, don't you think we should put the lobster in the swimming pool? I just feel so bad for them. Like, don't you dare put that lobster in the swimming pool. They're gonna die, and they'll be ruined from the chlorine.
[00:14:48] Just leave them in the crates. The party's gonna happen. It's gonna be fine. So she's like, okay, okay.
[00:14:57] So I flew home.
[00:14:59] And where she's like, okay, we're gonna go up to Sam's club.
[00:15:06] We're gonna go to Sam's Club, and we're gonna get, like, the paper plates, the plastic tablecloths for all the tables. We had all the tables set up and all the tables, and we'll there. And we'll have a whole table with the, like, side dishes on it. And she loves those little mini eclairs that you can get. And she had a chocolate fountain set up, which was very cool for dessert. And so we were so excited to be able to be going to Sam's Club to get everything finalized for this party, which was going to be within the next day and a half, I think.
[00:15:50] So we're in the car, we're driving. We're all chattering. We're all so excited about everything.
[00:15:57] I think there were four of us in the car. She's driving. I'm in the back seat.
[00:16:02] We're driving along. We're making a list of what we think we're going to need when we get there. And then she Says to me, don, yes, You're a nurse? Yes.
[00:16:15] She said, I have a question for you.
[00:16:18] I'm thinking, oh, dear God, here it comes.
[00:16:23] And I go, okay, what is it?
[00:16:27] She says, my husband has been having a problem. When he turns his head, sometimes he feels like a little bit dizzy.
[00:16:37] So today Hillsdale Hospital had some tents out and they were doing dopplers on carotids to just tell people if they were healthy or if they were at risk for something. And he decided since he was working at the bank that it would be okay for him to go up, just run up there and have his checked. Maybe that's what was causing his problem.
[00:17:07] And I'm sitting back there thinking, oh, no, what is she trying to tell me?
[00:17:13] So I said, uh huh, what happened? She said, well, he went to the tent, they did the Doppler, and they told him his pressure was really high and that he should go to his doctor's office.
[00:17:29] And I said, yes, that's good.
[00:17:32] And what happened? She goes, nothing happened. I go, what do you mean nothing? What do you mean nothing happened? She goes, nothing happened. He went back to work. I'm like, oh, dear God. Okay, why are we going to Sam's club right now?
[00:17:48] She's like, what do you mean? I go, he needs to get this taken care of, Kathy. This is a problem. He could have a stroke. We need to get this figured out. So she's like, okay.
[00:17:59] So she hands me her phone, I call her husband and I tell him, this is Dawn. I'm sorry to bother you at home. Kathy told me your whole situation and really, I think you need to go to the emergency room right now. We need to get this straightened out. He goes, what?
[00:18:18] Yes, you need to go.
[00:18:20] So he's like, okay, if you think so. I go, I do. I really do.
[00:18:26] So we hang up the phone. I'm like, I. And she turns around. We did not go to Sam's club that night.
[00:18:33] She turns around and we start driving back to Hillsdale as fast as we can. I'm like, oh, dear Lord.
[00:18:43] So then she goes, call him back. Call him back and see what's going on. So I try to call him.
[00:18:50] No answer.
[00:18:52] She goes, call him back again.
[00:18:54] So I wait a few minutes and I try to call him again. Still no answer. Now I'm starting to panic because she's panicking. I'm thinking, oh, my God, what happened? You know what I mean? Finally I call him one more time, and he answers the phone. I go, where are you?
[00:19:11] He goes, I'm at the emergency room.
[00:19:15] That's where you told me to go.
[00:19:17] I'm like, well, let me just say that you are the first man in my life that has ever taken me seriously and actually listened to me. And everybody was laughing. I mean, it was funny, but it really wasn't funny.
[00:19:33] So we raced back to Hillsdale. We go into the emergency room. Sure enough, there he is. And it was good timing because she got to go back with him.
[00:19:46] They did another study on him. They said, yes, your pressure is too high. We need to get this rectified.
[00:19:54] We're going to set you up with an appointment.
[00:19:58] And I believe it was Dr. Collins. That's who my mom saw as well.
[00:20:02] She had a. Had carotid surgery, too. Same kind of thing.
[00:20:07] So she's. So. I'm like, okay, this is really good. Okay, we got this straightened out.
[00:20:16] He's gonna get to the doctor.
[00:20:18] They're gonna tell him what needs to happen.
[00:20:21] This is all good.
[00:20:23] In the meantime, what are we doing about this party? Well, apparently, he had talked to him. They said, it's fine to have a party, but you really kind of need to lay low. Don't do anything strenuous while you're waiting to be seen by a doctor.
[00:20:39] So in the meantime, we end up going back to Sam's club.
[00:20:44] I remember it still because I still have the little dishes that she wanted to buy for, like, butter for the lobster.
[00:20:53] And we had these little sterno blowtorches that we would light the pots up, and we would cook the lobster singularly. And my other friend Jeannie was there, and she was helping me get it all cooked. And Craig was standing right there to make sure everything was clean, going okay. I honestly don't know how it all coordinated so well. Everybody just had such a great time. The food was really good. Kathy's sister came, and all of our friends were there, and it was just a wonderful experience.
[00:21:31] And then we ended up having two lobsters left, which was perfect, because Craig actually ended up seeing the doctor and having to have surgery. And when he got home, his dinner was lobster. I mean, how much better could that be?
[00:21:50] So that is the story of divine intervention.
[00:21:56] Redemption was me, because I really wanted to redeem myself in the eyes of my friends, knowing that I had not been such a great friend. Friend for such a long time.
[00:22:12] I mean, I went to graduate school. I got a divorce. I. My life has been complicated. I'm not going to try to even explain it here, but I have neglect, had neglected my friends, the friends that grew up with me. That knew me, that had supported me through so many things, and here I am trying to redeem myself.
[00:22:36] And in the meantime, her husband had a health issue problem.
[00:22:41] So that's where divine intervention came in. Because if I hadn't been home at that time, who really knows what would have happened?
[00:22:52] I basically said, he's got to go to the emergency room right now. And he did. He's so good. He definitely listens when there's a health issue. And I appreciate that about you because a lot of my. Even my husband doesn't listen, listen to me. It takes somebody on the outside to tell you what to do.
[00:23:14] So it was a meeting of revenge redemption, not revenge redemption, and a meeting of divine intervention.
[00:23:24] And in the meantime, we had lobster dinner.
[00:23:30] Her house and the whole setting was absolutely beautiful. And we were so lucky.
[00:23:37] And since that day, I feel like we've all been pretty close. We still hang in there. We're all retired now, and we try every year to do a girls get together getaway and we spend a couple nights. We went to Tennessee a couple years ago, and before that I had him up here and we all went kayaking.
[00:24:09] So we try really hard to make sure that we see each other and we get together.
[00:24:14] And even though we still fight like we're all sisters, we're so lucky to have each other.
[00:24:21] We really are so lucky.
[00:24:31] Thank you for listening to my story today. I hope you enjoyed it. It was.
[00:24:36] It was a very crazy, long weekend, let me put it to you that way. But it all worked out exactly the way it should be. And if you don't believe in divine intervention, this is a perfect example.
[00:24:54] I still feel so lucky to have my friends in my life.
[00:24:58] Very, very lucky.
[00:25:00] I know some people. I don't have a lot of family left, so my friends are everything to me.
[00:25:07] There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for one of my friends.
[00:25:10] Doesn't matter who it is.
[00:25:13] That's how important they are to me.
[00:25:19] I hope all of you have someone in your life that you feel that way about, because it's that interconnectedness that keeps us going in this life until the next time.
